Signs that your child may be in a gang

Again, no letter arrived from Ted today. While this is strictly Ted’s blog, I will post some background information about him until a letter comes.

Ted first started wearing red bandanas when he was around 12. Making no excuses for my ignorance, I didn’t think there were serious gangs in Tampa Bay. I would have conceded that there were gangs, but I thought they were just groups of kids dressing like cool characters they saw in the movies – play-acting at being Mafia mobsters.

I wish someone had told me the truth back then – gangs are a serious matter no matter where they are or how young they are. The dangers of gangs and signs of possible gang involvement need to be made widely available to all parents.

When Ted was younger – possibly around 13 or 14, I went away on a business trip and he stayed with his father in St. Pete. His dad dropped him off at Baywalk in St. Pete to see a movie. Ted called me up in a panic to say he had witnessed a shooting. He never opened up about the details, but I’m going to write and ask him more about that incident. I’m sure it involved a gang.

As Ted grew older, I never much thought about it, but his whole wardrobe started to gravitate toward certain colors – red, black and white. I took him on a trip to Alaska and he didn’t have a rain jacket. I went to buy him one and he was upset that they only ones that were for sale were blue. Again, I didn’t put two and two together. I just thought his favorite colors were red and black.

He bought ball caps and wore long chains with large crosses or dollar signs. I thought it was a phase. When he was very little, Ted liked to dress up in costumes: a police man, a fire man. A large photo of him in his fireman outfit appeared in the Hartford Courant when he was four years old. The hats, chains and baggy pants were another form of role-playing, I thought.

See this blog entry for why gang involvement is so dangerous: Gangs in Tampa Bay

The following information came from the Redwood City, California police web site. It’s a clear, concise list of signs that your child may be in a gang. None of these are sure signs of gang involvement.

Gang members share a name; form of identification (e.g., clothing, colors), "turf" or territory, and code talk (e.g., hand signs, graffiti, slang).

Street Talk
Gangs use a mixture of English and street slang. These words are meant to be difficult for "outsiders" to understand.

Hand Signals
Each gang has its own set.

Graffiti
Gangs use graffiti to mark or "tag" their territory. They also often mark their belongings.

Clothing Styles
All members may wear the same style of clothing or may wear all accessories on either the right or left side, including hats, jewelry, shoelaces, gloves, belt buckles, and so on.

Colors
Clothing may be all in one or two colors. The colors also appear on hair ornaments, nail polish, and belongings.

Symbols
The signs in the gang's graffiti may also appear on their belongings, skin (tattoos), and may be cut into their hair.

Photo: Ted, unhappy wearing his blue jacket.