A bit of family history

Again, no letter arrived from Ted. I’m beginning to wonder if Ted is safe, or at the very least, receiving my letters, stamps, paper and envelopes.

One person left a comment on the blog asking where Ted’s parents were.

Drugs, crime and gang involvement cross all social, economic, and racial barriers. Drug problems happen to rich families, as well as the middle and lower classes. It happens in all religions. All races. All education levels. All family situations – whole families and divorced families. It even happens to children of pastors.

I have been asked if one particular thing or combination of events may have contributed to where Ted ended up.

I think it was a combination of circumstances and tragic events in our family. Possibly even television, violent video games and Internet access all might have been contributing factors.

I’ll try to tell Ted’s story as honestly as I can - as painful as it may be - starting with a little of his parent’s history.

My father was a second lieutenant in the Air Force and died while on active duty at age 25 when I was five months old. My mother received a small military pension for both of us. She remarried when I was almost five.

My mother and step-father were very strict Baptists. They eventually started their own Christian school and my step-father later became a professor at a Christian college after completing his PhD in 1984. My mother obtained her Master’s degree in Early Childhood Education in 1973.

I was an only child (like Ted) and my upbringing was very restricted. I was not allowed to go to movies – not even Disney films. No secular music. No dancing. No playing cards (the devil’s game). After a certain age, I was not allowed to wear shorts and after age 13, I wasn’t allowed to leave my yard. And there was definitely no drinking or drugs allowed.

At age 15, I attended my parents’ Christian school. It had 50 students from kindergarten to grade 12. You could work at your own pace and I graduated at age 16. I was the only graduate that year. I started college right away. After five years, I graduated. Twelve years later, I also got my Master’s degree in Business.

Ted’s father, Bill, was the second of six boys. His father worked nights and the boys had to keep quiet during the day so their father could sleep. The boys were also not allowed out of their yard and played together in a fenced-in back yard when they were growing up. Bill joined the navy out of high school and went to work as a salesman after his discharge. He was very successful and broke many sales records.

Neither of us came from wealthy families. Rather, we both came from a middle class background.

Perhaps it was because I felt so strangled growing up that I was eventually not as strict with Ted. If I had known where he would end up, I would have done things differently. Hind-sight is unfortunately 20-20.

Photo: Ted's parents at EPCOT in 1986, when they were engaged.