Almost gone

It’s Monday night and in a couple hours I could possibly leave to go to prison.

I have asked a lot of people what it’ll be like and what to expect. I’m anxious, yet scared.

I will kind of be disappointed if I don’t go, but even if I don’t, I will leave on Thursday.

I heard that that first 2-4 weeks will be the worst, but that would probably be true even if the prison wasn’t filled with convicts.

I’m not sure how long it will be before I can send or receive letters – and not hearing from my family will be the worst.

Right now I’m only 15 minutes away from where I live, but who knows where I’ll be in a month or two. I could be almost in Alabama for all I know.

Well in a few hours, I’ll know if I’m going or not, and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.

Wish me luck…

My best friend

No matter what I did or where I went, I had this friend who was always there for me.

At times we seemed to be on top of the world and sometimes times were hard, but no matter what, we stuck by each other.

Anyway, this is for him.

On 8/11/09, he came to jail for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. I don’t really want to know what he did, but by the grace of God, his charges are being dropped.

I just want to say to him –

I know we’ve been to hell and back together and not even a bullet could’ve separated us. When you get out, I hope you realize how close you were to coming to prison with me. Please if you don’t listen to anything else, listen to this.

The drugs are going to make you do things you regret – even if you don’t intend to do anything wrong. Just look at the scars on my face and you’ll know what I’m saying.

I want you to know I pray for you every night.

I'm ready to go

I never thought I would say that I'm looking forward to going to prison, but you have to understand that I've literally been in the same room for 11 months without really going outside under the open sky.

Not to mention that Chuck Norris is now working in the pod 3-4 days a week. The other day, he came up to me and said, "Braden, do you know why I have a problem getting along with people, and especially my girlfriend?" I thought he was going to say cause he talks too much or something like that, but instead he said, "It's because I'm always right!"

I pray that no other human should be put through that kind of torture that only Deputy Phillips (aka Chuck Norris) can dish out.

P.S. Chuck Norris is about 15 feet away from me as I write this.

(This entry was written before Ted left the Pinellas County Jail.)

Is the Pinellas County Jail starving inmates?

Ted was 130 or 135 lbs. when he entered the Pinellas County jail on October 30, 2009 at age 18.

Eleven months later, he weighed 119 lbs., according to the reception center this past week.

Ted was receiving extra money in the jail - anywhere from $30 to $50 every week - to buy extra food (ie. snacks and Ramen noodles) from the commissary.

The reception center also listed his height at 5'8", when he is really 5'9" or 5'10" - depending on what record you're looking at. Teens stop growing [in inches of height] at 19 years old.

According to the standard weight and height chart, men should weigh the following:

Small frame Medium frame Large frame

5'8" - 140-148 - 145-157 - 152-172
5'9" - 142-151 - 148-160 - 155-176
5'10" - 144-154 - 151-163 - 158-180

Could budget cuts be having an even more drastic effect on the amount of food inmates are receiving? Inmates always have complained of hunger, but are they now been starved? What is happening to those that don't have the money to buy extra food?

Jail food

When you first come to jail, the worst part about it (besides being here) is the hunger.

A lot of people don't have money - or people to give them money - so that means they can't eat commissary food.

Sure, the jail feeds you, but if you only eat the meals the jail feeds you, you'll be left still hungry.

It sucks not being able to eat what you want, when you want.

The food you get for each meal is never any good - sometimes it's unrecognizable - and also the amount you get is a joke.

I'm a small person (119 lbs.) and if I could eat four trays of this food, imagine how hungry someone who's bigger than me feels.

The meals here only are enough to keep me from coming back! That's not even mentioning all the other reasons - which I won't get into - because I'm sure you've got some kind of plans for the next week!

When I get to prison

OK, here's the deal.

When I get to prison, I am going to continue to write these blogs, but unfortunately everything I send out is going to be read, so I am going to have to keep everything I say PG-13, so to speak.

Everything that I'm not able to post from prison, I will post when I get out.

I am hoping it doesn't get to the point where the prison doesn't want me to write blogs at all. I don't think it will come to that and even if it does - my mom will take over until I get out [writing entries about my past crimes and incarcerations].

I hope all of you will continue to read my blogs.

Prisons ban inmates from having pen pal ads

One person wrote to teeninjail@yahoo.com and said that it might not be possible for Ted to blog from prison. The writer said that Florida's Department of Corrections (DOC) might consider it a violation of their rules and referenced the below article by the Associated Press.

The Associated Press
July 29, 2009 Wednesday

Prisons ban inmates from having pen pal ads
BYLINE: By JESSICA GRESKO, Associated Press Writer
DATELINE: MIAMI

In her online profile, Paula Jones says she is 42, "nonjudgmental" and likes fishing, gardening and cuddling. There's a catch, though. Jones' picture shows her in her blue Florida prison uniform. She won't be outuntil at least 2010.

Her listing is posted on a Web site called WriteAPrisoner.com. She's looking for a pen pal.

"If you're looking for someone genuine and true, I'm looking for you," herprofile says. "I'm just a stamp away.

"By posting her profile, however, Jones is breaking a rule. Florida officials have banned inmates from having the Match.com-style listings, saying prisoners just create problems for their outside-the-pen pals.

Other states Missouri, Montana, Indiana and Pennsylvania have similar restrictions. Now lawsuits in Florida and elsewhere say the bans are unfair and violate First Amendment rights.

"The public knows when they're writing to these people that they're prisoners," said Randall Berg Jr., a lawyer representing two pen pal groups including Florida-based WriteAPrisoner.com that have sued in the state. "Nobody is being duped here.

"WriteAPrisoner.com president and owner Adam Lovell says the bulk of the people who use his site to write to inmates are from religious groups, military people stationed overseas and others affected by the prison. Fraud isn't as widespread as Florida corrections officials suggest, he said.

Jones, who is serving time in a women's prison north of Orlando, wrote in a letter to The Associated Press that she's not a danger to potential penpals. She says she wants someone to write to for emotional support and to be less lonely.

"Not everyone has (ulterior) motives, lies or solicits," wrote Jones, who pleaded guilty to cocaine possession with the intent to sell. "Some of us... even if it's very few are truly genuine and hope to meet someone good in our life.

"But the Florida Department of Corrections doesn't want to take any chances. In 2003, the department changed its policy to prohibit inmates from advertising for pen pals or getting mail from pen pal groups. Inmates who continue to advertise can have privileges such as visitation or phone calls revoked.

The department made the change after receiving complaints from people who had been taken advantage of and from victims and their families who saw prisoners' ads, said Department of Corrections spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger.

"We're doing it to protect the public," Plessinger said. "Inmates can have pen pals they just can't solicit for pen pals.

"Other states make similar arguments and have now drawn similar lawsuits.

In Indiana, the American Civil Liberties Union is representing prisoners protesting the state's policy, which also prevents inmates from advertising on Web sites or receiving mail from pen pal organizations.

The ACLU also says it is working on a lawsuit over Missouri's policy and investigating the policy in Montana, where inmates may not receive mail from people who identify themselves as a pen pal.

For now, some Florida inmates are ignoring the ban and listing themselves anyway. The inmates communicate with the sites by sending letters in the mail, and sometimes family members pay the fees for the sites, about $40 a year for WriteAprisoner.com and other sites.

On WriteAprisoner.com, Florida members range from a 41-year-old who tells potential pals she's a 36DD to a 28-year-old who says he has had a "bumpy lifestyle" and is on death row for a crime he didn't commit.

Then there's a man spending life in prison for first-degree murder who has found another way around the ban.

"Please note that the Florida prison system is now locking us up in confinement for placing ads for pen pals," he writes on hisWriteAPrisoner.com page. "So if you respond to this ad please don't mention the profile."

On the Net:Florida Department of Corrections: http://www.dc.state.fl.us
WriteAPrisoner.com: http://writeaprisoner.com/

Good people

The next few entries were sent from Ted just before he left for prison...

Even though I am going to prison, everything I am doing with these blogs is bringing good people back into my life - which is something I really need.

For instance, yesterday my 6th grade science teacher - who I haven't seen in years - came to see me. That meant so much to me. (I don't know if she knows it, but she was the best teacher I every had. I'm sure she'll still be around to teach me new things.)

The biggest thing I've noticed with all these people coming to see me to give me encouragement is that not one of these people have judged what I've done in the past. The only thing any of these people care about is that I do what I'm supposed to do.

It feels great not to have to hide my past. Thank you to all that have come to see me and also to those who have tried to come see me. Your support means the world to me.

A little advice to others - No matter what you do in life - don't cut the good people out of it. I'm just learning that. Having the right kind of people in your life can make the biggest difference!

A prisoner's first day

The following story is from www.prisonsecrets.com. An inmate recounts his first day in prison…

My First Day in Prison

"My first day in prison was one I’ll never forget. I was in jail, and as bad as THAT seems, I was in fear of the unknown - Prison! If you have ever been to prison then you know what to expect, but I had no idea. I asked others who were in the jail to explain it to me, but all the explaining in the world couldn’t prepare me for what I had in store.

The guards in the jail got me up early to prepare me for the ride to prison. After breakfast and a shower, they handcuffed me and took me to the transport room.

When I got there I saw several other guys who were handcuffed and shackled and sitting there waiting to leave. They took my cuffs off and strip searched me to make sure I wasn’t carrying any weapons (or anything else I wasn’t supposed to have). A strip search isn’t a cavity search. They aren’t going to try to check inside your butt unless they think you have something in there that you aren’t suppose to have.

You get totally naked in front of whoever is there. You face the guard that is strip searching you and you hold your hands and arms up so they can see that you don’t have anything in your hands of taped to your armpits. You open your mouth and move your tongue around so they can see that you don’t have anything in your mouth. Then you run your hands through your hair (if you have any) and pull your ears forward so they can look in and behind them. Next you turn around. You pick up your feet one at a time to show that you don’t have anything taped to the bottom of your feet. Lastly, you bend over and cough. The guard inspects your butthole to see if he thinks you have any drugs or weapons stuffed in there. If they think you have something in there, they do a cavity search on you immediately so you don’t have a chance to get rid of it. And no I didn’t receive one that day (thank god!)

After my strip search, the guard went through my clothes. Not just pockets, but along seams and collars etc. to see if there is anything in there.

Once the strip search was over, the guard took my clothes and gave me my underwear and socks back and took the rest to be transported. He gave me a jumpsuit to wear and some slippers for shoes.

Then he told me to kneel down on the bench facing the wall. When I did, he put shackles on my ankles. Afterward, I stood up (with great difficulty because of the shackles) and he put handcuffs on me. Next they put a chain all the way around my waist and secured the handcuffs to it so you couldn’t raise your arms. Then I sat with the others till everyone that was going was treated in like fashion. Only one guy got mouthy. Everyone else was in shock, not knowing what to expect next.

We were then lead outside to the bus. once we got there, they un-cuffed every other guy and would hook your arm through the other guy’s and re-cuff you again, so you were cuffed to another guy (as if the shackles, belly chains, and handcuffs weren’t uncomfortable enough). And then they seated us all on the bus.

The bus had a thick metal screen and bars on the windows. And when we got on the bus, there was a gate behind the driver’s seat that they locked after we all got inside it. I’m sure with everyone being cuffed and shackled to each other, we weren’t about to attack the driver. Being shackled to someone else made moving around very hard.

After they loaded all of our belongings on the bus and our records, we were off. It would be a three-hour-plus ride to the prison and it was only about 9 or 10. I’m not really sure because they took all of my jewelry (which includes my watch). All we were allowed to have was our underwear, t-shirt, jumpsuit, and slippers. Oh yea, and all these chains.

The ride there was long and uncomfortable. Some guys were starting to talk about how bad they were and what was going to happen. I assume they were just trying to cover up their own insecurities and fears.

As we pulled up to the prison, I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I tried not to show I was scared, but I was. I tried to act like I was just going to the mall. I wanted so much to be somewhere else, but I couldn’t go. I guess I deserved all that I got. I don’t even want to relive the experience as I tell you about it, but it is as vivid today as it was then. It was a traumatic day.

As we neared the entryway, you could see the razor wire on the fences that surrounds the place, and you could have heard a pin drop inside that bus. Nobody made a sound.

We pulled up to the gate and the guard got out and walked to meet another guard inside the gate. Then the one gate opened and the bus pulled in and the gate closed behind us. At this point we were surrounded by fence and razor wire. It was a fenced in entrance. The guard took a mirror on a pole and looked all underneath the bus. Then he opened the hood and looked around the engine. After that, they talked for a little bit before the gate at the other end opened up and we were moving towards the prison.

We pulled up next to the building and stopped. It seemed like a long time we just waited for the guards to tell us we could get off the bus. Finally they unlocked the gate and told us to start getting off the bus.

As we got off the bus they separated us from the other person that we were chained to, but we all remained shackled and cuffed with belly chains, and we were told to follow the guard inside. You don’t want to take very long steps because the chain on your shackles would fight your strides and it would hurt, so walking was hard to do as well.

Once inside they began taking our chains off. It sure felt good to get them off. Then we were processed one by one – name, date of birth,etc. The guard told me a number and told me not to forget it. I didn’t want to act like I wasn’t paying attention so I didn’t tell him that I didn’t remember it already. I was hoping to ask someone else later.

At this point, everything happened really fast it seemed. It was as if we were running (not literally) through a car wash. They lead us into a room and started to strip search us again. I guess they thought that the other guards didn’t do a good enough job. Once we were naked, we went through a door and it was concrete everywhere. Concrete walls, ceiling, and floors. I was lead to some barber chairs and told I was getting my hair cut. They buzzed it all off. Then I was lead to a shower stall (with no shower curtain), given some liquid soap and told to take a shower (while the guy watched). I’m assuming that this was my delousing.

After the shower I was stopped by another inmate that worked there. You could tell he worked there because he was the only inmate that wasn’t naked, and he asked me what size jumpsuit I wanted. I told him that I didn’t remember my number and he said, “Don’t worry; it’ll be on everything you get. You aren’t going to forget it.” Then he gave me a bag of stuff and a jumpsuit and said, “All I need was in there.”

The bag was a mesh laundry bag and I opened it to get a towel out to dry off. It was then that they said I was to get dressed, and I did.

Then all of us were taken to a cell block. We had been lined up, single file, and marched to the block.

Once we got there, they called out each person’s name (and number), handed them a paper, and told us to put our belongings in your cell, shut the door, and come back to the dayroom area. Our name, number, and cell number was all on the paper. As I walked to my cell I looked at my paper trying to quickly memorize my number so I wouldn’t forget it. Little did I know at that time, that I will never forget that number as long as I live.

I put my things away and looked around. There was a mattress on a metal framework that was bolted to the wall. Farther down was my toilet (sometimes called “The Head”). It’s a stainless steel one that’s attached to the sink. On the opposite wall was a desk and chair to write on. The whole place looked filthy. I wonder when it had been cleaned last. Well, I can look things over later. I shut the cell door and went to the dayroom area (which was just some school like desks all lined up in rows. On the desk was a publication that said, “Inmate Handbook” on it. I sat down and started looking at it.

There were several guards. None seemed to smile or be the least bit friendly. They were calloused (you could tell) from all the people who have come before me. There was no sympathy or understanding. It was their way or else. And at that time I didn’t know what “or else” was, but I didn’t want to find out either.

There was a lot of people talking about what all has happened to us so far and everyone was looking at their handbook when one of the guards said, “Attention people!” and everyone was silent. I don’t remember his exact words, but I’ll try to tell you (for the most part) what he said.

He said, “Gentlemen, I am Captain ____?____ (I don’t remember his name). I am the senior officer here. You have just been admitted into prison. You now belong to me. Your mommy and your daddy can’t help you now. You will do as I say. And if you don’t do as I say, you go to the hole. You have a handbook in front of you. It will tell you what you can and cannot do. If you disobey any of the rules, you go to the hole. If you get smart with any of my Officers, you go to the hole. Don’t get out of line, don’t talk back, and don’t do anything that you aren’t allowed to do or you’ll be going to the hole. This is my prison and I don’t tolerate any insubordination.

This is the isolation block. You will be in cells for the time being while you adapt to prison life. You will be locked down 23 hours a day while you’re here. It is my experience that those who commit suicide in prison usually do it here. If you’re thinking about killing yourself, you’d better do a good job, cause if I catch you, you’re going to wish you were dead!

If you do what you’re told while you’re here, you will have a much more pleasant stay here. You are at the Receiving Center and eventually you will be shipped to your Parent Institution. Until that time you will do as you are told, or I will make it my personal mission to make your time as hard as possible while you’re here. Now I will turn you over to your block Officer. Good day gentlemen.”

As the big man left, another guard began to talk. He told us to follow the rules. And what our laundry and shower schedule would be. He told us if we had any questions to ask. Then he said that we had the next hour for our one hour today to shower, make a phone call, watch TV, or whatever. Then he went up to the desk.

I went to get on the phone but I was too slow. They were already full. I didn’t want to visit with anyone so I just went back to my cell. I went through my handbook and found the mailing address in it. Eventually I got on the phone and called my family. I told them where I was in case they wanted to visit me, and how they could send mail to me.

At the end of the hour, they sent everyone to their cells and locked us down. It got really quiet and with nothing to do and nothing to read, you had a lot of time to think.

After a short time, I heard some odd noises out in the cell block. When it’s quiet like it was, you can hear everything. Not only that but sound echoes around in an empty cell block. So I went to my door and looked out the small window to see what it was. There were some inmates with blue shirts and pants on (like the one that issued me clothing) and they were opening the shoots on our doors. I kept watching and while the one guy opened the rest of the shoots, a couple of other guys were delivering trays of food. It must be chow time. That’s another thing that drives you nuts at first. You have no idea of what time it is. It might be 9 a.m. or it might be 1:30.

The trays were rectangular plastic trays with compartments. The food? Well it’s not mom’s good cooking. It was tuna noodle casserole, two slices of white bread, spinach, lime Jell-o with pear slices, and milk. I don’t like spinach or lime Jello, and the noodles were cooked long enough to become a glob of starch instead of individual noodles. So I salvaged some tuna on the bread to make a sandwich, pulled out the pears for dessert, and had 2% milk to wash it all down. I wasn’t being too picky, I just did 5 months in the county jail and I know it’s either find a way to make a meal or go hungry.

After eating, I set my tray back in the shoot in my door and lay back on my bed to relax and let my food settle. I guess because I had spent so much time in the county jail, I had gotten into a routine. Now we just wait around till supper and we’ll be doing the same thing. Time goes by really slow. Minutes seem like hours. And that’s no exaggeration.

After what seemed like a long time there was some voices that started to progressively get louder and louder until it seemed as though they were yelling. I went to my cell door to look out the window, but I couldn’t see anything. I kept watching and finally saw some guards come in. I saw maybe four or five. They rushed in and you could hear some scuffling noises and some more voices. Then I saw them taking a black guy in handcuffs behind his back to the door of the cell block. I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure they took him to the hole. Maybe tomorrow when we have our hour out of the cell, I’ll ask somebody.

I had been staring at the ceiling for some time, when they started bringing the trays around for supper. It doesn’t take long to figure out this kind of a scheduling. As I waited for the surprise meal, I couldn’t imagine doing years here. What will tomorrow bring. And then, there it was. Hot dogs and beans. I can eat that. It’s not great, but it fills the empty spot in my gut.

Then I placed my tray into the shoot and waited for the guy in blue to come by and get it. This has been some day. A lot has happened. I guess I’ll read my handbook some more.

I lie on my bed and read and got rather bored. There was nothing to do. I got up and paced the floor for a while. I looked out the window to see what I could see. Not much. Nothing of interest.

At one point I had to use the bathroom. Yes that metal monstrosity at the end of my bed. The prison toilet. God I was hoping not to have to use that. Well, I got some toilet paper wet and tried to clean the rim so I could sit down. I got it wet and the dried it off. I guess that’s as good as it gets. I sat down and the metal was cool. I still remember the shock that I felt when I flushed it the first time! The whole thing seemed to turn ice cold! Wow! I was totally unprepared for that! Lucky for me, that was the only surprise I got. I guess it could have been worse.

Later on I started to feel sleepy. I got up early. I am going to try to lie down and sleep. As I laid there, my head spinning with the day’s events. I fear the thought of days and weeks and months and years. It feels long already, but for now, the day is over.”

But the day wasn’t over. He tossed and turned all night. And I’m sure that this is going to be a long time in prison for John.

I know there was no blood and gore, but it was John’s first day at the reception center. When he goes to his Parent Institution, he won’t be isolated and he won’t be in a single man cell. Basically he’s safe from everyone except himself right now. As safe as he can ever be, …. Behind The Walls…

Ted's current location - RMC Main

Ted was not sent to the Central Florida reception center in Orlando. He is currently at the RMC - Main Unit (Reception and Medical Center) in Lake Butler in Union County in North Florida according to the FL Department of Corrections web site. It is unknown how long he will remain there or why he was sent to a medical center.

You can see Ted's profile by clicking here.

Letters can be written to Ted at this address:

Braden, Theodore, DC# 131948
RMC – Main Unit
7765 S. CR 231
P.O. Box 628
Lake Butler, FL 32054-0628

The great unknown

In a previous blog, I wrote about how scared I was to get out, but I have to admit I’m even more scared to go to prison.

The scariest part is not knowing what to expect.

In a prison, you have to keep a certain mentality at all times. I’m not trying to be like that. When I get there, I’m just going to keep to myself.

If I told you that I wasn’t scared, I’d be lying to you.

I think the worst part about having to go to prison is having to watch my mom cry.

All in all, I think I’ll be alright though. I’ll be home before I know it.

Essay written by AC

The following essay was left on the Comment field on the September 21st blog entry. (Similar writings can be sent to teeninjail@yahoo.com for possible posting.)

The Scene That Was Mine

Dope Is Like A Jealous Lover. It Comes In All Kinds Of Dress Bottles, Pills, Needles, Cigarettes. It Knows No Rivals.

Work, Family, Hobbies Are Not Allowed On This Trip. Dope Demands All Your Time And All Your Money. All Your Thoughts And Eventually, Your Body. Nothing Else Ever Comes First. Not Even God.

Dope Destroys Your Will Power And Self-Respect. It Cripples You Completely.

In Return For Your Slavish Devotion, It Will Turn You Into A Conniving Liar, A Thief, A Self-Involved Bore, A Simpering Idiot And A Worthless Bum. Whatever Junk You Are On Will Choke The Life Out Of You.

It Will Kill Everything In You That Is Useful, Decent And Independent. After It Has Twisted Your Brains, If You Are Lucky, It Will Kill You. Otherwise, You May Linger For Years As A Mindless Zombie.

Dope Has Only One Deadly Enemy, It Is The Word NO. No Starts Out Haltingly. It Is Shy And Painful To Say. But The More You Say It, The More It Is Respected, And Finally Accepted.

No Is The Only Cure For The Curse That Is Ruining Your Life.

What Is Dope? It Is The Expensive Private Road To A Permanent Home With The Living Dead. It Is The Trip The Peddlers Try To Talk You Into Taking. It Puts Them On Easy Street And You In Hell. The Day I Learned The Word No I Got Off A 10-Year Merry-Go Round. Thank God I Did, Or I Would Not Be Here To Tell You How My Trip Was.

And How Blessed I Am To Have Found My Way Back . . . By The Grace Of God.

God Bless!

Transported to Orlando reception center

Ted was transported from the Pinellas County Jail to the Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando at 4:35 a.m. on 9/22/09 (this morning).

Scared to get out

(This entry Ted wrote before he was sentenced to prison.)

Every day I hope that I will get out soon, and I think about all the stuff I want to do – like what food I will eat, where will I get a job, etc., but in reality I’m more nervous than excited to get out.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t ever want to come back here as long as I live and I’ll do anything to make sure I don’t – it’s just that most of my teenage years, I’ve spent incarcerated.

When I’m on the streets, I only know one life, but I know that I have to change everything.

I’m going to have to learn how to change my way of thinking. I’m also going to have to handle hostile situations by walking away instead of getting in a fight.

I pray every night for God to give me the strength to change my life… and hopefully someone else’s too.

I miss the little things

When I first came to jail on this charge, the only thing I was concerned about was getting out.

As each day passed, I gradually realized I’m not going anywhere.

I started to miss my girlfriend, my friends, getting high, and pretty much all the things I shouldn’t have cared about in the first place.

After awhile, I started missing just the little everyday things I took for granted - like being able to use the bathroom without having 70 people right behind me, or going to the refrigerator whenever I got hungry.

Now I have to sit and eat food – I’m not even sure what it is – with a bunch of people I don’t even like. Also now I’m used to taking a shower while I’m talking to the dude next to me, and I’m used to hearing a rent-a-cop deputy yelling at me for something I didn’t even do.

I hope that anybody that has never been to jail will never have to say that they are used to being locked up.

Leaving gangs behind

All my teenage years as a gang member, I learned to hate rival gangs.

One gang that I hated the most was called “Folks” or “Folk Nation”. I have never talked to one and have never liked one, but over the last 4 or 5 months, I’ve become really good friends with a Folk gang member [in jail].

It turns out that we were sentenced to prison on the same day so we will both leave on the same day to go to prison.

I know we probably won’t be able to change anybody’s mind in prison about being in a gang, but just maybe somebody reading my blogs will see that it doesn’t matter what set you represent or where you’re from, or what colors you wear. We are all just human beings.

If you really think about it, gangs don’t do nothing for you. The only thing it will do for you is what it did for me – and that is give you twice as much time for anything you get in trouble for. It only enhances the charges.

For You

Every day I talk to you on the phone. We talk about all the people we both know. We talk about all our favorite things. We talk about the past and future.

We talk about just about everything, but I’ve never actually met you in person.

It’s crazy because you even come to the jail to visit me.

I can’t describe how you bring me out of a bad mood every time I talk to you. You understand everything I’m going through.

Even though I’m going to prison, you tell me that you’ll keep writing – even though some of my closest friends from the street won’t take 10 minutes to at least write and ask how I’m doing.

Even the girl I asked to marry me won’t write me, but for some reason you still do.

I can’t describe how much I’m looking forward to getting out to meet you. I will never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done.

Thank you.

To the Lakeside Community Chapel

It's been a long time since I've been to church or even read my Bible, but the last couple of months, God has been really working in me.

At first it was me blogging on the internet and having a couple of people respond, but a few days ago, I had the most unexpected visit. Someone I went to elementary school with at Lakeside Christian School and went to church with as a kid came and saw me. She told me that the whole church knows about my situation and that everybody is praying for me.

One of the biggest surprises was that the police officer that transported me to jail was an old friend of my dad's and he was the one that put me on the prayer list at my old church. That meant a lot to me and showed me that there are a lot of people that care about me - even if I never see...or talk to them.

I want to say thank you to the officer that put me on the prayer list at church. Please keep praying for me. Also when I get out, you can expect to see me at church.

A message for the judge

Like I said a few blogs ago when I went to court on September 8th, I thought I was going home, but instead the judge told me I was going to prison for 24 months – NO LESS!

At first I just thought she was being mean, but now I realize it’s for the best.

Even though I REALLY DON”T WANT TO GO TO PRISON, it’ll be a new experience and hopefully by me going there and writing about it, other youths will realize what prison is really like and hopefully make better decisions so that they don’t end up like me.

But back to what I really want to say…I don’t know if my sentencing judge reads my blogs or not, but I just want to say to her that even though she sentenced me to 24 months in prison, I know that you only want to see youths such as myself make a better future for ourselves. I truly believe that.

You told me yourself that you wanted to see me turn my life around and I’m trying very much to do so.

Tuesday, September 8th

Last week, my attorney came to see me and she told me that I was going to get my charge dropped from trafficking to a sales & possession charge – which is a lesser charge – and that most likely I would get time served.

But yesterday – Tuesday, September 8th - I went to court and the judge told me they would drop my charge to sales & possession, but they wanted me to serve 24 months DOC (Department of Corrections), which is prison – in case you don’t know.

Most of my time in jail I expected it, but after my attorney came and got my hopes up, I was shocked.

I was so shocked, I asked for a week to think about it – and after only a day – I’m ready to take it.

I was so angry I felt like if anybody would even look at me wrong, I was going to hit them. I was sick to my stomach. I didn’t know what to do.

It’s only been a day since then and I don’t feel much different. I’m just trying to accept the fact that I have to go to prison. I guess I’m as ready as I’m going to be.

Right now I’m trying to keep to myself and not start any fights. I’m really trying to put violence in my past.

Hopefully with good behavior, I’ll be out in 10 more months.

Ted Braden on America's Funniest Home Videos

Now appearing by popular demand (since it was mentioned in a tb-two newspaper article): Baby Teddy appears on the very first episode ever of the popular TV show America's Funniest Home Videos.

Ted Braden (aka Teen in Jail) appeared on the very first episode ever of America's Funniest Home Videos - hosted by Bob Saget - in November 1989 when he was six months old. His father was changing his diaper and Baby Teddy peed in his father's face.

The winning video clip of that particular episode appears first - of a lady stuck inside a dishwasher. The winning video was recorded in 1986 (per the date stamp on bottom).

TV Guide advertised a contest for the very first episode of the show and received 700 entries. After the show aired, they received more than 7,000 videos a week.

Ted’s dad (Bill Braden) videotaped practically every moment of Ted's life (up until 1997 when his parents divorced) since the show aired - hoping to get another tape on the show, but unfortunately never did. (Ted's mom says it was because she was the one running the video camera on that video!)

Ted did give permission in a phone call from jail for this video to be posted.

Stay tuned for more extremely funny videos (and there are plenty!) of Teddy growing up.

If you're unable to view this video, you will need to download Adobe Flash Player at http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/.

And the verdict is...

I went to court today and entered a plea to accept the state’s offer of a 2-year prison sentence. I’ll get credit for the 11 months of time I spent at the Pinellas County jail, so I’ll be in prison for 13 months. I also can get 94 days deducted from that for good behavior.

I asked the judge for a 24-hour furlough before I went to prison, but she said no.

The judge's last words to me were "Mr. Braden, I do hope you've learned from all of this and after you've served your time that you won't be involved with the criminal justice system again."

I found out today that it might take a week or two for me to get to the Central Florida Reception Center. (I won't be leaving right away like I thought I would.) I could spend up to eight weeks at the reception center waiting to get assigned to a prison. They do extensive psychological and physical tests there to see if prisoners have any medical issues or educational needs. That determines what prison inmates go to. Next, they see if those particular prisons have open beds.

I could be sent to any prison from the Florida panhandle down to the southern end of the state.

If I’m at the reception center for longer than eight weeks, I’ll end up staying there to serve my sentence. They have different building there (Main, East and West) that house permanent residents. There’s two types of housing: Open Pop (open population) or CM (Closed Management). Open Pop is made up of a dorms of bunks. CM is made up of 1- or 2-man cells. There are different levels of Closed Management: CM I, CM II, and CM III (Maximum, Medium and Minimum security). All types of inmates wait there for assignments to the different Florida prisons.

My mom read on Prison Talk that they put you through a million and one things during that process. They’ll tell you to roll up your bed and move you to another location or to medical and in the morning will move you right back to where you were – with no explanation. According to the PT forum, there’s a mental process of owing the inmates nothing and making them be grateful for what they do have.

Prison Talk also said that the reception center was disgusting – mildew and rust on everything, so much so that some inmates are afraid to touch anything.

The food is supposed to be better than in county jail. I sure hope it is.

Prison Talk also says that it might take 10 to 20 days for me to get a letter. Other inmates say they received letters right away. Inmates are allowed to receive 10 sheets of paper, 10 envelopes and a book of stamps in the mail. Some parents didn’t receive their kids' letters for weeks and weeks.

After three weeks at the reception center, I’ll be able to make phone calls (to landlines only - no cell phones). I won’t be allowed visitations at the reception center unless I find out I’ll be staying there permanently. If they send me to another prison, I may not be able to get my first visit until four to six months, but it could be sooner. I hope I get sent somewhere close to home.

I can receive money in my commissary account as soon as I get a DC #. It won’t be the same inmate number I had at the Pinellas County jail. The DC # will be posted on the Florida Department of Corrections web site. They use a site called jpay (www.jpay.com), which is similar to PayPal.

There is a library in prison so I can read. There also may be work programs and education opportunities depending on where I’m sent. I can also receive books in the mail either sent from Amazon.com or directly from the publisher, but they must be paperback books with no spiral wires – any metal can be used as a weapon.

It makes it a little easier to know what I’m facing instead of just a big unknown. Once I find out what prison I’ll be sent to, I’ll be able to find out more info on that facility too.

I’m not happy about being sent away, but I won’t be on probation when I get out. I’ll also have to pay $2,034 in restitution for going with some friends to damage another kid’s car. (Told ya the gang got me into a lot of trouble.) I’ll also owe about $500 per charge for court costs and there’s three charges. I’ll be able to set up a payment plan once I get out to pay it back on a monthly basis.

The visitation process has changed again at the Pinellas County jail. The visitation reservation line (727-464-6842) now opens at 8 a.m. and you can make appointments for visitations for a week at a time now. (You need to have your driver’s license number available when you make a reservation.)

Inmates are only allowed one visit per day. My visitation days are Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. There were no visits open for Tuesday - so someone is coming to visit me - I just don’t know who. My mom and dad will visit me on Wednesday and Brittany and my mom will come this Friday.

I should still be at the Pinellas County jail for at least another week.

Teen in Jail appears on cover of new tb-two newpaper

Talked to my mom and dad on a 3-way call tonight. (Someone in jail let me use their phone card.)

On Thursday, September 10, there was an article about my blog in a new St. Pete Times teen newspaper [called tb-two] that goes to 75,000 high school students in Tampa Bay. A picture of me was on the cover too. I haven't seen the article yet, but I hope it helps some kids keep away from drugs and out of jail.

This article was a totally separate article from the one that appeared in the regular Sunday St. Pete Times paper on September 6.

I told my parents that I heard rumors in jail that they were changing the laws so that only 65% of a sentence could be served, instead of 85%.

I asked my friend Brittni to visit me at the jail on Tuesday. Brittni has been writing me tons of letters and it helps so much that she is there for me. (My girlfriend Kahli is long gone. I've heard that she now refers to me as "my ex-boyfriend in jail".)

My mom reads me the emails that I get at teeninjail@yahoo.com. I got a lot of emails after that article came out in tb-two. Other kids want to write to me in prison too, and I'd really like that. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that people are thinking about me and praying for me. I can get letters at the reception center when I know my DC #. My mom will post the address and the DC # once she knows it.

I also asked my mom and dad to visit me on Wednesday. It might take about a week for me to be sent to the Central Florida Reception Center in Orlando. Hopefully I'll get to see my family before I'm sent to the reception center and I'm not sent there right away after court.

I have court again tomorrow morning. I want to ask the judge if I will get time served taken off the 24 months sentence. Hopefully I will. Then I would only serve 13 months in prison. I could also get 94 additional days taken off my sentence for good behavior.

Someone sent my mom a really good web site called Prison Talk. It has forums where people post all kinds of information on all of the prisons.

Stay tuned for what happens in court tomorrow...

Blogger's note: Found out online (after the phone call to Ted) that there is a bill in Congress called "hr 1475", but it hasn't passed yet. This is the bill that supports reducing time served in a sentence to 65%. The main supporter of the bill, Representative Charles Rangel, is being investigated for false or non-reporting of income - up to half a million dollars in unreported income. So he'll be busy defending himself and will want to distance himself from criminal justice reform.

7,000 readers and counting...

When I first started writing this blog, I never thought that a whole lot of people would read it - but I was really amazed at how it took off.

I can't believe about 7,000 people have read my blog.

Now that I know people are interested in what I've got to say, that encourages me to keep writing - even though I might not be able to think of anything to write.

I just hope that at least one person out of 7,000 would take some of the advice I have to give to heart. I hope nobody will make the same mistakes I did.

Please keep reading and also I want any advice that ya'll have to give to me.

Being focused

Here in this jail, I spent a lot of time thinking about the wrong things.

I would think about what my friends were doing and what I could be doing.

But over the last few months, writing these blog entries has helped me realize what things I should be thinking about.

Now I try to think about what I’m going to do when I get out instead of thinking about what I could be doing if I were out.

Also now instead of thinking of what my friends are doing, I think about going to school and getting a good job.

Changing the way I think is the hardest thing to do, but if I can successfully do it, it will be the most rewarding.

Photo: Ted at Busch Gardens at 15 years old.

What I heard about my sentence

Tonight my parents came to visit me at the jail.

It was incredibly hard to find out yesterday that I would be doing at least two years in prison.

My mom talked to my attorney on the phone today. The attorney said that it would be two years minus the time served (24 months - 11 months = 13 months). She also said that if I keep out of trouble (no arguments, fights or escape attempts), I could maybe get some time off for good behavior as well.

The attorney will ask the judge to recommend that I be sent someplace close to home. The judge can't determine where I'll be sent. Only the intake center can say where I'll go. But the judge can possibly recommend one prison to the intake center.

There is a work release camp near the Pinellas County jail, where prisoners can go to in order to serve the last year of their sentence. I may be eligible to go there.

There's also a prison/work camp in Largo. The penitentiaries nearest my home in Clearwater would be in Zephyrhills, Hillsborough and Polk counties. There is also an adult prison at Avon Park next door to where I spent 9 months at the juvenile facility. You can click on the hyperlinks and click on Browse Current Population to view photos and profiles of the inmates in the prisons.

When I enter a plea on Monday morning, I will then be eligible to go right away to the Orlando reception center, which is an intake facility for people going to prison. I will stay there two weeks and they will evaluate me to determine what prison I go to. It could be a minimum, moderate or maximum security facility.

I won't be kept with only younger inmates, as I wasn't tried as a youthful offender. (One of my podmates was involved with armed robbery, but was tried as a youthful offender.) So I'll be in with inmates of all ages.

As long as I keep out of any fights, I won't be housed with the violent offenders like murderers.

I hear from other guys here that they have college classes or trades you can go to in prison and I'd like to go to them.

I'm trying to keep positive and look at it as another experience to write about. My mom told me that a lot of famous authors have been in prison - such as Jack London and O'Henry.

My attorney told me before court that she thought I had a 90% chance of getting a sentence of time served and that I might get out of jail sometime after court on Tuesday. So it hit me doubly hard when I found out that wouldn't be the case and that I'd be doing [what I thought at the time] would be at least two more years.

I'll ask the judge on Monday if the sentence will for sure be 24 months minus any timed served.

But whatever she says, I'll definitely accept the deal. I don't want to face 30 years in prison.

Photo: Video visitation room at the Pinellas County jail.

More famous writers that have spent time in prison: Boethius, Cervantes, Campanella, Daniel Defoe, Thomas More, Walter Raleigh, Leigh Hunt, Oscar Wilde, Maxim Gorky, Chernyeshevsky, Dostoyevsky, Solzhenitsyn, Francois Villon, Voltaire, Diderot, The Marquis de Sade, Jean Genet, Saint Paul, Malcolm X.

Court update

Today Ted went to court.

Both the judge and the state attorney had already read the article in the St. Pete Times about the Teen in Jail blog (that appeared in the Sunday, September 6th issue) by the time he appeared in the courtroom.

Ted's trafficking charge has been changed to a lesser charge of sales and possession because the pills that he was arranging to be sold didn't contain enough MDMA (Ecstasy) to constitute trafficking, according to the forensic analysis.

Ted's attorney asked the judge if Ted's sentence could be reduced to 12 months with time served.

The state attorney reiterated that Ted had been getting into trouble for seven years - including burglary, grand theft, and numerous drug charges. In fact, he said, Ted had appeared in court and had just been put on probation when he was arrested three days later for his current charge. The court doesn't take violation of probation lightly.

The state offered Ted a deal of two years in prison.

Ted's attorney tried three times to get the sentence reduced, including asking that he be sent to Solid Rock, a drug rehab in St. Petersburg. Finally she asked for only 18 months prison time.

The judge said that while she could appreciate what Ted was trying to do with his writing, she had to go by his past record, not by his promises to do better.

Actions speak louder than words.

She recommended that he take the state's deal, as it was extremely generous. Ted has accumulated enough points to go to at least 3½ years in prison. If he decided to go to a jury trial, his charges carried a maximum sentence of 30 years prison time.

A jury might not be so lenient.

Since Ted didn't have an immediate answer and wanted to think about it, the judge set a new court date for Monday, September 14th at 8:30 a.m. He will have to tell her if he will take the two years in prison or take his chances at a trial.

Map of local correctional facilities

More info about local correctional facilities

Court tomorrow

Tomorrow I have a court hearing at 8:30 a.m.

I get to get up at 4:30 a.m. and it'll be seven or eight hours before I return to my pod at the jail.

Although there have been a lot of postponements, I think tomorrow I may find out whether or not I'll be sentenced to prison, be sent to a drug rehab, or get house arrest.

It could be postponed again though.

I won't get much sleep tonight...

My first days in jail

When I first came to the Pinellas County jail for my most recent charges [in October 2008], I had the supreme pleasure of being put in maximum security.

I was placed in a small cell with a metal door. Inside the cell, there was a cot with a thin mat on it, a metal desk and a metal toilet. Nothing else.

I stayed in that cell for two whole days.

I wasn’t let out at all. All meals were brought to the cell on trays.

The bed had no sheets, no pillow and no blanket. There was just a mat and that’s it.
I got to stare at the walls for 24/7. There were no books, no TV. Nothing.

It gave me a whole new perspective on being bored.

Photo: Solitary cell in the Pinellas County jail - credit Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

What life could've been like

I often find myself thinking about what my life would be like today if I would have never gotten arrested before. And honestly, I have no idea.

It’s hard for me to imagine my past any different because all I know is crime.

I would like to think that I would’ve completed high school [instead of a GED] and been well on my way to completing college.

Also I wouldn’t have to stress myself out about not getting caught by the police all the time. That right there would’ve been great!

I really just would’ve liked to have done something to make my family proud of me.

I hope that by helping other people I can change that.

Even though I have a lot of regrets, I now know how to use my past to better my future and hopefully someone else’s also.

A new start

When I was 12 years old – and before I had ever got into any trouble – my mom and I went on a Globus bus tour of the national parks out West.

The trip started in Las Vegas and went to the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Grand Tetons, Yellowstone and Mount Rushmore.

We had the best time and went on two helicopter rides – once over Las Vegas and once over the Grand Canyon. We went rafting three times - through the Grand Canyon, on the Snake River and outside of Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

I think a lot about Wyoming here in jail.

We stayed one night in a log cabin in Jackson Hole and the whole area was so relaxing. I’d like to go back and get a job there someday. It would also be a great place to work on my book.

I worry about the fact that the Clearwater police will be watching me every minute after I get out [of jail].

I’d like to start over somewhere else.

Starting over may be easier said than done but at least I will not need a surety company to insure my new start. I just need determination and the help of my Mom.

My goals

The last couple of weeks, a lot of different people have asked me what my goals are when I am released.

At first, I told them that I didn’t know – but that answer scared me – because if I didn’t have something to work toward when I get out, then I would soon be doing what I was doing before.

Now after many nights lying in bed thinking, I came up with an answer.

Even though I have a bad criminal record, I am going to college to study English and photography.

By accomplishing that, I can accomplish my other goal – to tell everybody that even though the life I was living seemed so appealing at the time, in fact I was making the same mistakes over and over again.

I’d also like to write a book about my experiences. I have more stories than could possibly be written about in this blog. Maybe somewhere, somehow, it could change at least one life.

One thing I have learned if nothing else is that without a goal and something to work toward – no matter your intentions – you are doomed.

Just my luck

When I was 15 years old, I was waiting outside a gas station for a friend to pick me up. The neighborhood that I was in was a known drug area and I was the only white person around.

On this particular night, I had nothing illegal on me and I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

While I was waiting, I saw a man come out of the gas station with a brand new pack of cigarettes. I walked up to the man and asked him for a cigarette. He reached into his pocket and pulled a pack out with two cigarettes left in it and gave them to me. (The guy looked like he smoked crack.)

I went back to the curb I was sitting on and smoked a cigarette. Right about the time I finished it, a cop pulled up to me and asked how I was doing, and I told him I was fine. He asked me what I was doing standing there and I told him I was waiting to be picked up by a friend. Then he asked me if I had anything illegal on me, and I told him that the only things in my pockets were a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

He asked to search me and because I didn’t have anything on me, I said sure. He patted me down and pulled out the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and reached in it and pulled out of it a small bag of cocaine.

He asked me about it and I told him that the man standing on the other side of the street gave me the pack and he must have left it in there. So the cop went and asked the man if he gave me the cigarettes and the man admitted to the cop that he did give them to me not even 5 – 10 minutes ago. Even with the man saying he gave me the pack, I still went to jail. That other guy got to go home and probably smoke crack.

Even though I’m pretty sure the cocaine belonged to the guy that gave me the cigarettes, I can’t help but wonder if the cop planted it on me.

Running from cops

I can’t count how many times I’ve run from the cops.

I’ve been in two chases in a car (both times I got away) and too many chases to count on foot.

A lot of times when I run from the cops, they always try to sneak up on me while I’m at my house. I always can tell if they’re about to try something when there’s a police cruiser parked on each end of my block.

Whenever I think they’re coming for me, I take off from my backyard and run across the street to the school that’s right next to my house. When I get there, I jump on the shed and from there I jump on the roof. Once I’m on the roof, the only way to keep up with me is in a helicopter and even though I haven’t tried, I’d be willing to bet I could still get away.

After awhile, the cops caught on to me and started parking at the school too. One time they did that, they caught me off guard, so I had to run through a church with nothing but open space around instead. It was just my luck that the cop that was parked at the school probably ran track professionally – he tackled me in seconds.

Illustration by Jeff Harter and used with permission from http://jeffharter.blogspot.com/.

My biggest regret

As all of you can imagine, I have more regrets than I can count.

There isn't a day where I think about something I've done and thought that it was stupid of me to do what I did.

One of my biggest regrets is joining a gang.

It hurts me to admit this because I have never told any of my family about this. They are finding out about this when my blog gets posted.

I can't exactly remember when I joined, but I do know I was too young.

Of course there is never a good age to join a gang.

A lot of my decisions I made just to prove myself to my set. Also I grew up hating other gangs for no reason other than the colors they wore or the gang signs they threw up.

I know that if I wasn't in a gang, I would've gotten in a lot less trouble.

When I am released, I am going to have nothing to do with the people from my past life. A lot of them will probably have problems with me 'cause I have no loyalty toward them no more, but one day I'm going to have to face that - and when that time comes, I'm not really sure what I will do.

All I really can do is face it like a man.

(Photo taken from my MySpace page.)