For some reason, my mom is convinced that she is somehow responsible for my behavior and bad choices I’ve made in the past.
Sure, maybe she spoiled me too much, but that’s not the reason I joined a gang or started using drugs. My mom did everything she could to keep me out of trouble and provided everything I needed to succeed, but it was my decisions that led me to where I am today.
So then what caused you to make poor decisions, join a gang and do drugs, you might ask? Well, I’ve though a lot about it and I’ve come to this conclusion: Every kid at a certain age goes through a stage where he/she doesn’t want to listen to his parents. Kids are in too much of a rush to grow up. Depending on the group of friends they have and what type of atmosphere they’re exposed to will play a big part in who they become.
Also it’s a very good idea for them to have hobbies or some kind of activity that they enjoy to help fill up their free time. That was one thing I never had. I didn’t play many sports, play an instrument, go paintballing or anything else. I had way too much free time and freedom. I was in such a rush to grow up that I wanted to do what I saw all the older kids doing. They drank, smoked cigarettes and weed, and did pretty much whatever they wanted to do without their parents telling them what to do. Eventually I started doing what they did and it made me feel more adult-like. After awhile, I stopped going to school and missed any and all opportunities that came with it. I wasn’t playing sports, I wasn’t doing chores, I really didn’t do anything. I wasn’t doing anything I was supposed to.
All I wanted to do was get high and hang out with my friends. Nothing else mattered. Well today I’m paying for all that. If I could go back and change things I would, but since I can’t, I’m trying to make the best of it.
My advice to any parents who are willing to listen is simply this – and you’ve probably heard it all before, but it couldn’t be more true. Don’t let your children get to the point where you can’t control them. Set firm rules and you can’t under any circumstances let them break those rules without punishing them. It’s up to you how you punish them, but don’t go easy, but don’t be too cruel either. Let them know you mean business. For those parents whose kids are already getting out of control, all I can tell you is make sure they get what they deserve. Let their punishment fit the crime and hopefully they’ll realize it’s not worth the trouble. If that means they have to spend a few weeks in the JDC (Juvenile Department of Corrections), then so be it. Some people just have to learn the hard way. Look at me.
Ted,
ReplyDeleteYour Mom is just missing you, is normal for her to do some soul searching, especially if your visit together meant as much to her as it did to you.
You continue to take responsibility for what you did, and right now, THAT speaks well of you, your Mom and for YOUR future.
Everyone screws up, not everyone gets caught.
You can't change the PAST, what you CAN do is make your future something your Mom and You can be proud of.
You are already well on your way, just stay the course and get out of there. She will be a million times better when her 'baby' is out of that place.
Do NOT stop writing, think of it as YOUR lifeline in a storm. If you don't let go, you WILL make it to safety and Freedom, I promise.
Lots of people are pulling for you.
rick
hi
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