I know I said that when I get out, I want to go to school, but then I ask myself:What school will accept me?
Can I afford it?
Can I get a job to pay for school?
How will I get to and from school?
All these questions overwhelm me and I’m trying my hardest not to give in to the pressure. I know I could just say screw it, I’m in prison now, so I’m just going to get used to it. It’s way easier to not work and sell drugs – but I can’t do it.
For some reason, I feel like I’m meant for greater things.
Even though I know this, it’s a constant struggle for me. I know that when I am released I’ll have no car, no guaranteed job, no money saved up, and hardly any clothes, let alone dress clothes for interviews. All this is always at the back of my mind.
If I told you it wasn’t, I’d be lying. I know things won’t be easy, and I feel like I’m sitting on a fence hoping I don’t fall on the side with all the dangerous rocks.
I know I’ve only begun a long road to recovery, but once I’m released, that’s the true test. I want nothing more than to give this story of mine a happy ending.
You can do it, even if it's little by little.
ReplyDeleteCheck out Andres Idarraga's story: http://rethinkingreentry.blogspot.com/2009/12/on-power-of-consistency-and-discipline.html
Keep reading, reading, reading
and good luck!
God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
ReplyDeleteI'd say you've already come a long way. You want to strive for a better life and confessed what you did then was wrong. That's half the battle won right there :)