As all of you can imagine, I have more regrets than I can count.There isn't a day where I think about something I've done and thought that it was stupid of me to do what I did.
One of my biggest regrets is joining a gang.
It hurts me to admit this because I have never told any of my family about this. They are finding out about this when my blog gets posted.
I can't exactly remember when I joined, but I do know I was too young.
Of course there is never a good age to join a gang.
A lot of my decisions I made just to prove myself to my set. Also I grew up hating other gangs for no reason other than the colors they wore or the gang signs they threw up.
I know that if I wasn't in a gang, I would've gotten in a lot less trouble.
When I am released, I am going to have nothing to do with the people from my past life. A lot of them will probably have problems with me 'cause I have no loyalty toward them no more, but one day I'm going to have to face that - and when that time comes, I'm not really sure what I will do.
All I really can do is face it like a man.
(Photo taken from my MySpace page.)
Wow, I hope this comment can be shared with you. I'm so proud of you for sharing your experiences like this. My husband and I run a teen recovery program (http://lhghauburn.com) and see all too often how teens don't think of consequences that can come from their actions. It sounds like you're learning a lot, and you can use your mistakes and hurts to really make a difference in other guys' lives. Don't give up!
ReplyDeleteI really hope to hear in some sort of way a response. Today at school, during english class we had an assighnement to read an article out of this news paper, I'm so glad that I stumbled upon your story! From the looks of the dressings that you wore and of course there is really no mistaking the hands, you were in the bloods. The timeing of my find on you could not have been any better! I have a very close friend, someone who I will even say that I love very dearly! I am afraid that I will lose him to the drugs and gangs. He has already been through the PAR program once and he has about 4 months left in his second stay! I was hoping to maybe get some words of wisdome from you to send to him in my next letter. He deep down inside wants to get strait, but just can not seem to find the will power in him to do it the way he would like. No affence, but I really don't want him to end up in your situation! I read in the article one of your blogs that I think would really touch home with him... you said how you lost your Girlfriend in the midst of all this, well... he's losing alot too... friends that we used to share have forgotten his name, his mother has abandoned him, and I'm not sure how much longer I can stand by and watch him completely destroy his life (once again, no affence) He has also become very into the gang thing. IDK I am just really hoping that maybe you can respond in some sort of way... maybe in an e-mail, just something that I can print out and seal up in my next letter.
ReplyDeletemy e-mail is: djniquette@rocketmail.com
my name is: Star
thank you!