Avon Park

Right after I turned 17, I was sentenced to Avon Park Youth Academy, a 9 - 12 month moderate-security juvenile detention center.

The first month or so, you live in 1 of 2 units in which there is nothing to do except count grains of dirt on the ground.

During those first 30 days, you wake up and clean your unit, eat, and then work out 'til you can't work out no more. Then for the rest of the day, you have to be stuck in the same classroom as 50 other kids doing classwork. The rest of your day was easy 'cause there wasn't anything to do.

After the first 30 days or so, you were placed in a vocational trade. There was culinary arts, auto mechanics, landscaping, electrical, masonry, carpentry and web design.

I was in Landscaping. Every morning I would wake up, clean, go to breakfast, then go to my trade. For the next 6 - 8 hours, I was taught by an instructor named Mrs. Norsko. After trade, everyone else went to school, but because I already had my GED, I got to stay and work with my instructor. A lot of times, she would bring pizza and soda.

The rest of the day was easy. After trade and class, we went back to our own unit where there were board games, cards and TV. Each unit held about 20 people. After the first 30 days, this is where I spent the next 6 - 7 months.

My last 2 months, I got moved to a unit where everybody was almost about to go home. Also my last 2 months (after I finished my vocational trade training), I was put on an off-compound work crew that went out into town to work. We were worked to death, but it was better than being behind a fence all day.

All in all, I did 9½ months and graduated.

Photo: Ted's release from Avon Park - walking to freedom

Not knowing

On September 8th, I have a [yet another] pre-trial court date. By then I will have been in jail 15 months (with a short three days in there 11 months ago when I was let out).

What kills me the most is not the time I'm facing - it's the fact that I don't know what will happen.

I hate not knowing.

I watch people come in here - and within a few months at the most - they get some kind of offer, whether it's prison or probation. But in my case, I haven't got an offer yet.

Every time I go to court, my court dates just get pushed back for one reason or another.

I know I put myself in this position, but I don't even know if they are willing to give me a deal or slam me on the head.

I just want to know.

I don't think I'm in a position to complain about anything, but if I had a lawyer that was competent and did her job, I would be much happier.

Please pray for me on September 8, 2009. Thank you!

*Note: Ted faces 3½ years of prison time. He hopes to either get probation, house arrest, or a sentence for a drug rehab program in St. Pete called Solid Rock - see link on right.

How I first started writing

My mom owns a business doing mystery shoppings for cruise lines, hotels and restaurants. She has taken me on some of the assignments and taught me how to write about my experiences with the employees’ service and attitudes. We even saw some employees stealing.

I went with my mom on several of the cruise shoppings – to Italy, Greece, Mexico, the Caribbean and three times to Alaska.

At first, when I was much younger, I’d go just to keep her company – no one suspected that a lady with a kid would be checking up on them.

As I got older, I wrote some portions of the narrative reports. Kinda odd that I’m sorta now doing narrative reports on jail – and it makes it doubly hard to be in here. I wish I could instead be going on some more trips.

My mom was also an editor of an international travel magazine – until the financial backer died earlier this year. She’s written for a bunch of other magazines and she had me co-author an article in WaveLife back when I was 15. I got some of my photographs published in magazines too. She even had me join a writers’ organization as a student member.

Ever since I can remember, my mom’s been taking pictures of me. In some photos, I’m frowning - that’s because she’s already taken about 50 pictures of me. A few of the pictures have appeared in magazines such as Florida Game & Fish and the Official Florida Vacation Guide.

Sometimes I lie here and wonder what I’d be doing if I wasn’t in jail. I signed up for two college classes last year at St. Pete College, but didn’t finish them. I’d like to go back and study journalism and photography.

Photo: Me frowning in Santorini, Greece

Your real friends

"The bad times show you who your good friends are." - Teen in Jail

If you were to go to jail right now, how many of your friends would come to see you? How many of them would be willing to bond you out - or at least put money in your commissary?

I'm sure if you'd ask them if they would do any of those things, they would say, "You know I would. You're my friend and I'm here for you."

But do you really believe that?

I'm sure I'm not the only person that will tell you that when you come to jail, you will be very lonely and your visits will never be booked up.

I'm not saying your family won't help you out. I'm just saying your friends aren't likely to.

Of course, there are good friends out there that will help you, but in my experience, most of them won't help you at all - unless they need something from you.

Just in case the people who have been looking out for me read this, this has nothing to do with you. You know who you are. Thanks for sticking by me. I won't let ya'll down ever again.

Fed up

I'm fed up!

All my life, I've looked over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being watched or to see if the police were around.

I don't want to deal with selling drugs anymore. No matter how smart I think I am, I still get caught.

Everytime I get caught stealing, I go to jail and I have to pay it back. Whenever I get messed up, I end up with another embarrassing story about myself or another scar.

I can't continue to live that way. If I continue on this path, I will kill myself with stress - if a bullet doesn't do it first. And if I continue to live that way and I'm lucky enough to survive, then a prison cell will be my permanent home.

This is not an educated guess - it's a fact. It is not possible to successfully live the life that I have lived.

My advice to all those who know what I'm talking about is - stop while you're ahead. Think of everything you and your loved ones can lose.

My first arrest

My first criminal charge ever was a burglary when I was 13 years old.

One night when I was at home, a couple of friends came over and asked if I wanted to go chill with them. I said ok and we left my house.

We started walking and at first I didn't know where we were going.

Soon my homeboys told me that there was this kid that was moving and that he and his parents weren't home. So when we got to his house, I wasn't sure what I should do. Well anyway, I decided to go in the house just to look around.

When we went in, I couldn't believe how much stuff they left behind. I started looking through stuff and I realized that there was a lot of stuff that I wanted - and because no one was there to stop me - I took what I wanted.

I couldn't believe all the cool stuff I was getting. It actually felt fun at the time. I liked the rush so much, I went back to the house three nights in a row.

I never thought back then that I would be caught, but a couple days later when I saw the kid (who's house I went in) pull up at my house with his parents, I knew I was caught.

I wasn't arrested right away. A couple of months later, the Clearwater police came into my math class [at school] and read me my rights and handcuffed me right there in class. It was the worst feeling I ever had.

Drug rehab at 16

When I was 16, I got into trouble at high school and with the cops and was sentenced by a judge to complete 4 - 6 months of residential treatment at Operation PAR in St. Petersburg.

There was no fence or anything to keep kids from leaving - which ended up being my downfall.

When I first got there, everything was going okay and I was going through drug counseling and AA and NA meetings every day.

After about 1½ months, I started getting really homesick. A couple of teens that were there with me started talking about leaving. They convinced me to go with them.

When the time came to leave, one of them had second thoughts, but I told him "that he put all that pressure on me to go and now you're the one who's scared" and I convinced him to go. I almost had to drag him out.

I was gone for the whole weekend and on Monday, PAR let me come back, but I had to start the program all over, so I did.

After a couple more months of the program, I began to get homesick again. I talked to my drug couselor, Danielle, but she couldn't help me, so I left again. This time when I came back, they sat down and all the counselors together had a meeting with me. They told me that they might let me stay, but they might not. My counselor and I were pretty close and I could tell that she knew that they were going to kick me out, so I left again.

The next morning, I called the program and spoke with my counselor and she told me that she was going to try and convince the higher-ups to let me be discharged unsuccessfully from the residential program and continue the rest of my treatment on an out-patient basis.

Thankfully, she did convince them, but unfortunately, not long after I started the out-patient treatment at PAR in New Port Richey, I got new charges and was sentenced to Avon Park Youth Academy, a moderate security 9 - 12 month program, where I did 9 months exactly.

Photo taken right before going to PAR.

Letter good-bye from new self to old self

By fellow inmate Cory

Dawg - I've had a lot of fun over the years. I've done a lot of things with you - things I'm not proud of. Some things were ok, but man I was foolish for thinking you were someone you were not. You are a scumbag piece of crap. I hope you get your &%*# together one day because you really could be a good person.

I need to stay away from you. I was writing this letter to help you. You need help! You think that all there is to life is drugs, partying, sex, robbing, & stealing. You fool - look where it got you. It got you in jail - waiting to go to prison.

Man you made my path so hard to follow. I was with you so long, but I need to do my own thing now. I have too much to offer and more to lose than I realized. I don't want to get high with you no more. My mother is not going to walk in on you nodding out with a needle in your arm ever again. No more wild parties. No more goin out robbin with you. This is goin to be hard for me. I got to tell you right now in this letter before we both end up dead or in prison for the rest of our life. I can't believe we both aren't dead already.

Every time you mess up I get to deal with the consequences while you're nowhere to be found. I get locked up and tell myself it is your fault, but I know it is. I get locked up to protect you and your habits. So get yourself straight.

Good bye forever you junkie,

Cory

School

All throughout my childhood, I never tried in school.

I was very smart and could've done very well - it's just that I didn't care to try.

My whole life I did just enough to move on and keep up with my class. I only really failed one grade.

It wasn't until I got into high school that I just stopped going altogether.

When I first got into high school in 9th grade, I would ride the bus to school - sometimes stay for 1st and 2nd period - then leave with my friends. We would go to someone's house, the mall, the beach - really just any place but school.

A lot of the times we would just go to a park and smoke weed.

After my first year of high school, my mom realized that I didn't want to go and that no matter what she did, I was just going to do what I wanted. So my mom signed me up to take my GED.

I didn't get to complete it at first because I got into trouble and was sent to a drug rehab, but as soon as I was done with that program, I got out and finished my GED right away at age 16.

Going to court from jail

Going to court from jail is one of the worst things I've ever had to do.

At 4 a.m., the deputy comes and wakes everybody up that has court and tells them to be ready by 4:30 a.m. During that half hour, you can eat breakfast, shave and brush your teeth.

Then at 4:30 a.m., another deputy will come get you and walk you across the jail through a maze of hallways to a little cell that they try to fit 50 or so people into. It's very uncomfortable. They make you sit in this cell from around 4:45 a.m. until about 6:15 a.m.

Then some more deputies will come get you and walk you up and down stairs and through long hallways until you come to a slightly bigger cell where they fit 50 to 100 people. Now you're in this cell with a bunch of sick, smelly, disgusting people from about 6:20 a.m. 'til around 8:30 a.m.

If you're unlucky enough that the judge doesn't need you, you can sit in this cell until 10 a.m.

Most people do get to go in front of the judge and when they come to get you for court from this second holding cell, they put you on an elevator which ends up putting you right behind the courtroom in yet another holding cell. This cell is made for about probably five people and I've rarely seen more than that [number].

This third holding cell is where your attorney comes to talk to you about your case. Sometimes you'll make it all the way to this holding cell just to find out that you won't be going to court.

After you're done with court, you go back to the second holding cell that you were in before and it normally takes 30 minutes to be brought there in the maximum security part of the jail. Here, they put you in a cell with other people that are housed in the same division you are in.

Sometimes, you can sit in this cell (which is the dirtiest cell of all) for 1 to 1½ hours.

For some reason (even though we walked to court), after we leave that cell, they shuttle us back to our housing area in a van. Don't ask me why they do this 'cause I have no idea.

After all this, you probably get back to your pod around 11 a.m. or 12 noon. For start to finish on average, it takes seven hours to go to court with an 8:30 a.m. court hearing.

Photo: The Pinellas County Courthouse is right next to the Pinellas County Jail on 49th Street in Clearwater, FL.

Pics of me growing up

Age 12 - before I was first arrested.

Age 13 - age I was first arrested (for burglary)

Age 14 - a perfect swing

Age 15 - trip to St. Lucia with my mom

Age 16 - totally cool

A really bad night

My third car was a right-hand drive turbo Honda Civic. I loved this car.

One night I got really drunk, took a bunch of pills and went for a drive.

I wrecked my car by driving it head-on into a concrete telephone pole.

I ran out of gas and because there was no power steering, the wheel locked. The car ended up sideways blocking both lanes.

Luckily, this was in the early hours of the morning - something like 4 a.m. - and no one else was involved - or I could have killed someone.

The cops came and because it was a holiday, the jail was overflowing. One officer called my dad and told him if he came to the scene right that minute, he would let my dad tow the car and take me home - otherwise, I'd go to jail.

I could have been arrested for seven charges that night: DUI (my alcohol level was 1.7), driving with no insurance, having an open container of liquor in the car, possession of marijuana, having a big butcher knife under my front seat, property damage and leaving the scene of an accident. (I was found wandering around not too far away. I barely remember the incident - mostly this comes from what my dad told me.)

When I was asked that night why I ran into the pole, I replied that it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I want to say here that my addiction to Xanax has caused me more trouble than I can ever say. I remember nothing of what I do when I'm high on Xanax.

I literally destroyed my favorite possession - all because I got drunk and high.

Medical care in jail

I'm not an expert on medical care by any means, but to me, in jail the medical care sucks.

One thing I've noticed so far is that no matter what is wrong with you, the only thing they'll give you is Motrin.

"What's wrong with you? Oh...you're foot's broken...here - have some Motrin."

"You have the flu? Here's some Motrin."

"You were playing basketball and you slipped, fell and now you're paralyzed? Well, here's some Motrin."

Now, I'm not complaining. I understand that there are people with drug problems and they would take advantage of anything else [given to them].

This is not the reason I believe the medical care here sucks. The reason is because there was a man in my room a couple of months ago and he went to get a tooth pulled. When the dentist here pulled his tooth, he slipped - not once, but twice - and both times he cut the roof of his mouth. He had to get 11 stitches in addition to the ones for his tooth. (I bet you can't guess what he got for pain...that's right...Motrin.)

For that reason I won't go and get my remaining [3] wisdom teeth pulled even though they are really starting to hurt.

Photo: Medical wing at the Pinellas County Jail; Credit: St. Pete Times

My attorney

When I first got my trafficking charge, I was appointed a PD (public defender) to represent me because I could not afford a private attorney. Normally a PD doesn't try too hard and won't always speak for you, but my PD was pretty good.

Unfortunately, after I had him for two months, he was taken off my case because of a conflict of interest (he was also the attorney for a co-defendant), and I was appointed another pro bono attorney out of a different office.

My new attorney (whose name I won't mention) works out of an office called Regional Counsel.

I have to admit she is very nice, but that doesn't help me with my legal probelms.

All the things my PD was trying to do for me, my new attorney said she could do. The only difference is, it took her 3 - 4 months just to get started.

Once she did get started, she took her sweet time to do anything. Every court date I went to, she would arrive 45 minutes late - just to postpone it for another month.

Also, being in jail, I am only allowed to call her office Wednesday between 2 - 3 p.m. and Friday between 2 - 3 p.m. Every time I call (which is every Wednesday and Friday), she is either out for the day or unavailable.

It gets aggravating not being able to talk to my attorney about my case. She doesn't seem to be trying at all. I've had her almost 9 months and she has done next to nothing.

Last time I went to court, she told me that we were going to push my court date back 2 weeks, but it turned out to be scheduled for 6 weeks. My hearing is on September 8th. Hopefully I'll find out then what will happen. I could get sentenced to 3½ years in prison, be sent to a drug program, or get house arrest.

On top of the world

When I was 18, my mom gave me a sportscar - a Mitsubishi 3000 GT. I then got a job as an overnight valet at a 5-star resort on the beach. Don't ask how I got the job - I just lucked out. It paid $9 an hour, plus tips - which were better than you'd think for working overnight.

I was on top of the world. I really liked having money in my pockets, but I could never have enough. So I noticed that when I was working, people would always ask if I could get weed and coke and I would tell them no.

I realized that I was missing out on a great opportunity, so one night I bought a large amount of marijuana just to see how much I could sell. To my surprise, by morning it was all gone.

After that, I started doing it all the time, but the money wasn't coming quick enough, so I started selling coke too.

Life was great, and I didn't have to worry about anyone telling on me 'cause I was selling drugs to everyone I worked with too!

I worked there for seven months before I got fired. I got too cocky and thought I was untouchable, so I cursed out my boss's boss.

How dumb could I be? (And I'm not just talking about getting fired...)

Some photos of the Pinellas County Jail

Aerial view of the Pinellas County Jail

Credit Douglas Clifford in St. Pete Times

Jail overcrowding

Solitary cell

Pinellas County Jail

These photos of the Pinellas County Jail were obtained online.

What passes for food here

I mentioned before that breakfast here is served at 3:30 or 4 a.m. Lunch is served at 10 a.m. and dinner is at 4 p.m.

I didn't yet go into detail about the food, but most of it is unidentifiable. Even after eating it, I'm hungry all the time and use the money my parents put in my commissary account to buy more food, such as Ramen noodles, canned meat and coffee. I mix the Ramen noodles and canned meat together to eat.

The trays we eat off of are big and bulky. They're made from plastic and are about 3" thick.

Some items we get for breakfast:

- meat and potatoes
- grits and powdered eggs
- cornflakes and a peanut butter sandwich

We get a teeny juice and milk with breakfast.

Some of the thing we get for lunch or dinner:

- meat patty and potatoes
- mac n' cheese and a hot dog
- balony sandwich and noodles

For dessert we get a scoop of rice pudding, a chocolate chip cookie or dry cake. We used to get bread pudding, but haven't gotten that in over a month.

We also get a small cup of juice.

On Thanksgiving we got turkey, something that resembled stuffing and jello. That's better than the juvenile detention center at the Pinellas County Jail though. The year I was there for Thanksgiving, we got a baloney sandwich for our holiday meal.

More than one person (including someone that had worked in the kitchen) has told me that the juice in our cups is poured from big bottles that have a skull and crossbones on the bottle. There's a warning on the bottle that says that long-term drinking of it is poison. Who knows if this is really true?

I know one inmate who was a large person when he came to the jail, but lost over 200 lbs. after being here a year and a half.

Two friends in the same jail

I've been in here over a year and I've only talked to a few other people besides my mom. One was a very good friend of mine - Steven Brown.

Ever since I got locked up [over a year ago] I've heard Steven was doing good and staying away from old friends.

Well today I got a visit from another old friend - Kyle - who I haven't talked to since I've been in here.

Kyle told me he got stabbed by Steven and Steven is now in the Pinellas County Jail for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. So both of us are in the same jail now.

It really breaks my heart 'cause Steven kept telling me (before he was arrested) how he wanted me to get out and do good. I always told him I just wanted him to keep doing good.

Even after all these blogs I've wrote to help change people, the one closest to me didn't listen.

I'm not sure why I wrote this. I just felt that I should.

I just want to close this by saying "Bro, you let me down, you let your girl down and you let both our moms down, but I love you and I will pray for you. Please let this be the last time you mess up. Our families can't take this stuff we put them through any longer."

Mail at the jail

Inmates can receive mail here at the jail - delivered by the U.S. Postal Service or a private delivery service.

Inmates can receive letters and cards. All mail is opened and searched in front of the inmate before being delivered.

You can only send three photographs to an inmate.

If you want to send magazines or newspapers, they have to come directly from the publisher.

You can only send three books at a time and books have to be sent from a book dealer. My mom usually sends me books from Amazon.com or from a book seller on eBay, which is much cheaper. Books can't come from a regular person selling books on eBay or they'll be returned to the seller.

My mom's sent me all the James Patterson books, two books by James Frey, the first five Patricia Cornwell books, The Good Earth and The Grapes of Wrath.

We share the books in here and there is a real lack of anything new to read.

Self-addressed, stamped envelopes and stamps can't be sent to the jail. Inmates have to buy envelopes and stamps from the commissary.

One large stamped envelope costs .60 in here. A writing pad costs $1.25. A regular envelope is .25 and a book of 10 stamps is $4.20. A pencil is .20 and a pen .21.

If you'd like to send an inmate a letter, you will need to address it as follows:

Full name, identification (docket) number, housing assignment
Pinellas County Jail
14400 49th Street North
Clearwater, Florida 33762-2877

You can find the docket number and housing assignment here.

A Million Little Pieces

This is the book that inspired me to write about my experiences in this blog.

A Million Little Pieces is a controversial memoir that tells the story of a 23-year-old alcoholic and drug addict coping with treatment in rehab.

I highly recommend A Million Little Pieces and the sequel, My Friend Leonard, by James Frey.

I read both books here in jail a few months ago.

There's a third book, too, called Bright Shiny Morning, but I haven't read it yet.

James Frey's web site is at http://bigjimindustries.com/.

Earn $2 a day!

If you think you've got it bad making minimum wage, you could always come to the jail and (if you're lucky enough to become a trustee) earn $2 a day.

A couple of months ago, I started working as a trustee in my pod. There are five trustees for approximately 72 inmates in a pod.

Trustees can basically do five jobs:

Houseman (who sweeps, empties trash and hands out cleaning supplies)
Cleaning bathrooms and toilets
Cleaning showers
Laundry
Barber

I started out by cleaning showers. There are six showers (for our pod) and they are cleaned two times a day. It takes between 15 - 25 minutes to clean one shower. I used bleach and shower cleaner and cleaned with a scrubbing sponge and a bucket.

I then got moved to do laundry. I work on laundry from 4 p.m. - 11 p.m. by popping loads in and out of the washer and dryer. I can do other things like read while stuff is washing.

Loads of t-shirts, boxers and socks from all the inmates are washed and dried. The washer and dryer here looks like a typical washer and dryer in a home. They're not commercial machines.

Each inmate's personal clothing items are labeled with their initials. When the stuff is all done, it's all put on a table and the inmates come and grab their own items. If something's not labeled, then it's inevitably grabbed by someone else.

Uniforms and sheets are sent to the laundry in another building. Uniforms on our pod are attractive. They look like surgical shirt and pants except they're navy blue with red stripes on the short sleeves.

Trustees wear red ball caps. Each trustee earns $2 a day, which can be used to buy commissary items. (See blog entry titled 'Menu of jail commissary items' for things we can buy and prices.)

I'll never complain about minimum wage again...

Quarantine at the Pinellas County Jail

Today I'm not feeling well. Maybe I have the flu...

The other day another inmate here was sick and they thought that he might have the swine flu.

It turns out he didn't, but because of that event, the Lieutenant came into our pod to say that there was no swine flu in our building.

At the time, we accepted that answer, but it turns out she lied.

I know she lied because in the downstairs pod, none of the trustees are allowed to come out of their pod and work like they do every day.

This is not something I was told, this is something I know because they came at 3 a.m. to come get me to do their job.

Another reason I know she lied is because all the deputies on the 2nd floor (where the trustee pods are) are wearing masks.

How are you going to sit there and tell me there is no threat when all the guards are wearing masks and the 2nd floor is quarantined?

Second chance

By Josh 'J' Barberree (fellow inmate)

Choices are often times made not fully understanding the consequences we are to face once our five minutes of fame are gone.

But it's these very choices that give us the inner strength to stand tall and battle those things in life that seem to be a continuing weight to our being.

When we can look back on a situation and see what mistakes we made and use them for strength to overcome the negative forces that we deal with in our life, then we are the winners.

Don't let life choices be your downfall. Accelerate yourself toward change and know it's the second chance in life that will forever put us on top.

Today's thoughts

Today I read some of the comments other people wrote to me.

Most of it was extremely encouraging and shows me people are listening.

But a couple of comments showed me I'm not the only one with problems and I really hope that those are the people that will listen to me.

I'm not trying to save the world. I'm just trying to help those who will listen.

I can tell some people read my blogs, but do you really listen to what I have to say?

Anyway, having said that, I also noticed some of you think I'm using a computer - which in turn may be costing tax-payers money. For those of you that think that, you are dead wrong. There are no computers in here and no internet.

I write my blogs on paper and send them to my mom - who then posts them word for word.

I want to end this by saying to my mom - thank you for everything you've done. Without you none of this was possible. I love you.

You will be missed

Today a friend of mine here in my pod got sentenced to 25 years in prison.

I wanted to write this blog entry for him.

There are some of us that are good people at heart, but who've just made really bad choices.

In my friend's case, he was the most caring, kind, and easiest person to be around, but he just made one bad mistake that he will have to live with for the rest of his life.

Most of us are lucky if we make a poor choice. We get probation or a little bit of jail time, or at the most, a couple years in prison.

My heart goes out to those that may never be released from prison because of a mistake.

Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of people who deserve to be locked away forever, but not my friend.

I hope that in prison, even though it will be extremely improbable, if not impossible, he will better himself and not become someone who believes he is destined to be in prison forever.

Friend, my heart goes out to your loved ones. I know they care about you very much. Even though you can't be with them, you are always in their thoughts - and mine too.

Menu of jail commissary items

Here's a picture of part of the Pinellas County Detention Facility North and Central Menu. It looks like one of those standardized tests where you color in a circle. (Circles are numbered 1 - 10 and there's also a number 15 - the quantity of each item ordered.)

Each inmate is supplied with basic cheap stuff such as toothpaste and soap.

The items on this menu are things an inmate can buy with any money they have in their commissary account (supplied by friends and/or family by moneyorder). Inmates can place their orders twice a week.

The list is interesting in and of itself.

4 oz Balsam Shampoo.......................................$1.00
4 oz Balsam Conditioner....................................$1.00
Blue Magic Berg. Cond......................................$1.99
Pro Glo Gel Pomade....................................,......$2.50
Men A/P Sport Talc 3 oz.....................................$3.10
Womens Speed Stick.........................................$2.75
4 oz Baby Powder...............................................$1.25
4 oz Skin Care Lotion.........................................$1.24
Skin Care Lotion 15 oz.......................................$2.40
Cocoa Butter Lotion 15 oz..................................$2.40
Noxema 2.5 oz.....................................................$3.00
Hydrocortisone Cream........................................$2.25
Tolnafate Antifungal Crea...................................$2.99
Chapstick.............................................................$1.35
Magic Cream Shave Depilat..............................$2.92
Brushless Shave Cream 4.7...............................$2.52
Max Body Shampoo 15 oz..................................$2.75
Max Body Conditioner 15 oz...............................$2.75
Dandruff Shampoo 15 oz.....................................$3.35
Next 1 Cocoa Butter Bar......................................$0.85
Ivory Soap 3.1 oz..................................................$0.95
Next 1 Sports Bar.................................................$0.95
Cool Wave Toothpaste........................................$1.65
Soap Dish.............................................................$0.95
6 oz Mouthwash Mint (Non-A .............................$1.29
3 oz Colgate Toothpaste.....................................$2.06
Tek Med. Toothbrush...........................................$0.99
APAP (Like X Stgth Tyl) 2pk...............................$0.49
White Toothbrush Caps.......................................$0.25
Iprin (Like Advil) 2 pk...........................................$0.49
Ex_Lax 6 Count....................................................$2.50
Tums 3 Roll Pack.................................................$2.25
Hemorrhoidal Oint 2 oz........................................$4.25
Effergrip Delete Stay Denture Adhesive...........$3.79
Triple Antibotic Ointment.....................................$2.75
Halls Cough Drops...............................................$1.25
Optopics Tetra. Eye Drop...................................$3.00
Saline Solution 12 oz...........................................$2.94
Contact Lens Case..............................................$2.75
Tampons 1Box.....................................................$4.79
Cotton Swabs 90 Ct Box.....................................$0.99
7 inch comb...........................................................$0.75
Hairbrush W/O Handle.........................................$1.58
Foam Rollers Med................................................$2.00
Foam Rollers Lrg..................................................$3.00
Large Stamped Envelope...................................$0.60
Manilla Envelope..................................................$0.28
12.5 X 15.5 White Envelope...............................$1.00
6.5 X 9.5 Envelope..............................................$0.25
Wireless Notebook..............................................$1.40
Book of Ten Stamps............................................$4.20
Small Address Book...........................................$1.00
8.5 X 11 Letter Pad Wht.....................................$1.25
Sketch Pad 8.5 X 11 White................................$1.40
#2 Pencil.............................................................$0.20
Colored Pencils 12/Box.....................................$3.19
Pocket Dictionary...............................................$3.50
Paper Mate Ball Med Black..............................$0.21
Birthday Card.....................................................$1.99
Juvenile Care......................................................$1.99
Sympathy Card...................................................$1.99
Get Well Card.....................................................$1.99
Friendship Card..................................................$1.99
Thank You Card..................................................$1.99
Seasonal Card....................................................$1.99
AA Ion Battery 2 Pk.............................................$1.25
Koss Headphones...............................................$5.50
2 Each AAA Battery............................................$1.25
Sony Clear AM/FM Radio W/Headphones......$25.99
Playing Cards......................................................$1.89
Pinochle Cards....................................................$1.89
Chess&Checker Combo....................................$6.75
Bowl W/Lid...........................................................$0.75
Spoon (Plastic)....................................................$0.05
S.S. Tasters Choice Coffe..................................$0.30
4 oz Keefe Coffee...............................................$3.50
3 oz FD Colombian Coffee................................$3.50
Nescafe Coffee 4 oz...........................................$3.85
10 Pk Salt............................................................$0.15
10 Pk Pepper......................................................$0.15
S.S. Hot Cocoa...................................................$0.35
Sugar Twin Packet..............................................$0.03
Sugar Packet Single...........................................$0.03
S.S. Creamer.......................................................$0.07
N/S SS Tea W/Lemon........................................$0.30
S.S. Orange Breakfast Dri.................................$0.30
S.S. Tea W/Lemon.............................................$0.30
S.S. Fruit Punch..................................................$0.30
S.S. Lemonade...................................................$0.30
Nestea W/Lemon 5.5 oz.....................................$1.30
18 oz Jar Orange Drink.......................................$2.89
19 oz Jar Tea W/Lemon......................................$3.00
Grape Drink Mix 19 oz.........................................$3.00
Peach Drink Mix 19 oz.........................................$3.00
Velveeta Mac & Cheese......................................$1.60
Velveeta Cheesy Rice..........................................$1.60
Spicy Velveeta Cheesy Rice...............................$0.99
Velveeta Cheesy Refried Beans.........................$0.99
Spicy Velveeta Cheesy Refried Beans...............$1.70
Spicy Velveeta Cheesy Ref Beans & Rice.........$1.70
Peanut Butter Creme Cookies..............................$1.30
Swiss Vanilla Creme Cookies..............................$0.69
Oreo Sandwich Cookies........................................$0.69
Vanilla Creme Cookies 6 oz..................................$1.30
Orange-Pineapple Cookies 6 o............................$1.30
Chocolate Chip Cookies 6 oz................................$1.30
Iced Oatmeal Cookies 6 oz....................................$1.30
Duplex Creme Cookies 6 oz..................................$1.30
Turkey Sausage.......................................................$1.90
Saltine Crackers.......................................................$0.75
Cheese/Peanut Butter Crac....................................$0.59
Cuban Crackers 3 oz...............................................$0.59
Strawberry Poptarts 2 pk.........................................$1.00
Banana Marshmallow Pie........................................$0.79
Chocolate Marshmallow Pie....................................$0.79
Iced Cinnamon Roll 4 oz...........................................$0.90
4.75 oz Jumbo Honeybun.........................................$0.95
Monster Honeybun....................................................$1.05
Strawberry Donuts....................................................$0.80
Bear Claw..................................................................$0.90
Chocolate Thunder Donuts 6 pk..............................$2.50
Rice Krispie Treats...................................................$0.65
M&M Plain..................................................................$0.99
M&M Peanut...............................................................$0.99
Almond Joy.................................................................$0.99
Baby Ruth...................................................................$0.99
Butterfinger.................................................................$0.99
Snickers Bar...............................................................$0.99
Milky Way Candy Bar.................................................$0.99
Payday........................................................................$0.99
Zero Bar......................................................................$0.99
Twix Bar......................................................................$0.99
Three Musketeer Bar..................................................$0.99
Reeses P/Butter Cup..................................................$0.99
Hershey's Chocolate Bar............................................$0.99
Hershey's W/Almonds.................................................$0.99
Nutrageous Bar...........................................................$0.99
Kit Kat..........................................................................$0.99
Skittles.........................................................................$0.99
Hershey's Kisses 3 oz................................................$0.99
Lemon Drops...............................................................$0.99
Red Licorice Twist.......................................................$0.99
Rootbeer Barrels.........................................................$0.99
Jolly Ranchers Asst 3.70.............................................$1.35
Atomic Fire Balls..........................................................$0.99
Sour Fruit Balls 4.25 oz...............................................$0.99
Dibgy Allstars 3.75 oz..................................................$0.90
Sugar Free Wild Fruit 1.7............................................$0.99
Tootsie Rolls.................................................................$0.99
Chicken Ramen Noodles..............................................$0.69
Shrimp Ramen Noodles...............................................$0.69
Beef Ramen Noodle.......................................................$0.69
Cajun Shrimp Ramen Noodle........................................$0.69
Texas Beef Ramen Noodle............................................$0.69
Chili Ramen Noodle........................................................$0.69
Oriental Ramen Noodle...................................................$0.69
Cajun Chicken Ramen.....................................................$0.69
Chicken/Mushroom Ramen.............................................$0.69
The Whole Shabang 1.5 oz.............................................$0.90
Potato Chips.....................................................................$0.90
BBQ Potato Chips............................................................$0.90
Pretzel 11 oz.....................................................................$2.39
Hot & Spicy Corn Chips...................................................$0.90
Hot Fries (Andy Capp).....................................................$0.90
C.A. Cheese Crunch 11 oz.............................................$2.25
CA Round Tortilla Chips...................................................$1.99
Hot&Spicy Chips...............................................................$0.90
Sour Cream Onion Chips.................................................$0.90
Hot Spicy Pork Rinds........................................................$0.90
Caramel Popcorn 3.53 oz.................................................$1.50
Keefe 10 oz Nacho Chips.................................................$2.29
C.A. BBQ Corn Chips 12 oz.............................................$2.29
FC Mackeral.......................................................................$1.89
FC Sardines in Oil..............................................................$1.89
FC Crabmeat......................................................................$2.00
BC Chicken.........................................................................$3.00
Tropical Blend.....................................................................$1.25
Onion Dip 3.5 oz.................................................................$1.21
Nacho Dip W/Jal 4 oz.........................................................$1.21
12 Pk Mayonnaise..............................................................$1.20
12 Pk Mustard.....................................................................$1.20
12 Pk Ketchup.....................................................................$1.20
Summer Sausage Hot 1.58 oz..........................................$0.99
Summer Sausage Pepperoni............................................$0.99
Whole Enchilada Party Mix 11 oz......................................$2.50
Granola Bar Choc Chip.......................................................$0.55
Grape Jelly 1 oz...................................................................$0.45
S.S. Peanut Butter................................................................$0.45
Creamy Peanut Butter 18 oz...............................................$2.99
Salsa Sqz Bottle 15.5 oz.....................................................$2.00
S.S. Cheddar Squeezers....................................................$0.89
S.S. Jalapeno Cheese Squeezer.......................................$0.89
Sharp Cheese Spread.........................................................$2.00
Strawberry Cereal Bar.........................................................$0.69
Spam.....................................................................................$1.89
Tortillas 6 Pk..........................................................................$1.50
Salted Peanuts......................................................................$0.65
Hot Hot Peanuts.....................................................................$0.65
Chicken Vienna Sausage.....................................................$2.25
Beef Stick Original.................................................................$1.25
Beef N Cheese.......................................................................$1.25
Beef N Cheese Hot................................................................$1.25
Summer Sausage..................................................................$2.25
Hot Beef Summer Sausage..................................................$2.25
Beef Salami...........................................................................$2.25
Fresh Catch Tuna 4.23 oz.....................................................$2.25

Early morning scare

Before I tell this story, I need to tell you something first.

Almost all my life, I've lived with my mom and grandma, and my grandma would always call the cops over the littlest things. She never called them on me - she would call them because she was disabled and there would be a spider on the wall and she couldn't do nothing about it. So all the local cops knew my grandma by name.

Anyway, on with my story... One day, I was asleep in my mom's room while she was out of town and my friend was asleep in my room. I was awakened by my front door being kicked in and a few seconds later, the door across the hall was kicked in. I knew it was the police, but I wasn't looking forward to seeing what they wanted.

Then - to no surprise - they kicked my mom's bedroom door open and every officer that came in the room had guns pointed at me.

They handcuffed me and brought me out in the living room to question me. When they sat me down next to my friend - who looked like he had just died - they asked me "what I did with the body."

I was confused by what they had just asked me, but I knew they thought I had done something bad. Then they said again, "What did you do with your grandma's body?" I was stunned because as far as I knew, she was in her room probably watching TV or something. I told the police she was in her room and they told me that she wasn't anywhere on the property. I couldn't believe it because my grandma can't get out of bed and it made no sense.

The police were convinced I killed my poor grandma and they weren't going to believe otherwise 'til I could prove it. So here I am, just me, my black friend - who looked whiter than me at that moment - and about 15 police officers searching my house. When out of nowhere, a stray cat (that I have no idea how it got in my house in the first place) came running out of my room, zig zagging in between all the cops - scattering them like bowling pins - and ran straight through a plate glass window. When I say it ran through the window, I literally mean THROUGH the window - and it just kept going.

All the cops looked shocked.

I couldn't believe what I just saw myself. All the cops were convinced that I had fed the cat crack or something.

I couldn't believe any of this was really happening. It all seemed like a bad dream. For all the times for that cat to pick to act like it did, it had to pick the time when the police thought I killed my grandma.

Finally after a couple of hours, they found out my grandma had gone to a doctor's appointment (by ambulance) and she accidentally hit the 911 emergency call button when she left.

I have to say that was the worst start to a day I've ever had. And just so everybody knows - I would never harm my grandma. I love her very much. Oh, and I didn't feed that cat drugs of any kind.

Most recent fight

Like I said before, I no longer promote any violence, but there was a really good fight the other day.

I was out in the hall and when I came back, my roommate, Dave, came up to me and told me somebody stole 15 soups out of his locker. I went in the room to check and see if anybody stole my stuff, but my stuff was all there - which was surprising cause I had a lot more than Dave.

Anyway, we found out it was the guy in the room next to ours, Kyle. Dave asked me what he should do and I told him to leave it alone. I told him to leave it alone because he is the type of kid that gets picked on in school and I didn't want him to get beat up.

Later on that night, Dave heard Kyle in the next room talking about how he stole Dave's soups. So Dave went over there against all warnings and confronted him. Kyle jumped off his bed and pushed Dave. Right then I was about to stop it, so Dave wouldn't get hurt, but to my surprise, Dave hit him first. They went blow for blow for awhile, but then Kyle couldn't take it anymore and lost.

I wrote this because I always like to see the weak ones win a fight.

Hope

"You learn best from your worst mistakes." - Teen in Jail

I write a lot of stuff about my past experiences, but for now I want to write about my hope for the future.

All my life I've never had a dream.

The only thing I've ever had to look forward to is a release date.

Now - even though I'm in jail - I now have a hope for a better future, not only for me, but for other youth as well.

When I am released (whenever that may be) I am going to continue to write my blogs and hopefully be given an opportunity to speak at youthful offender programs.

I know from experience that some kids don't want to change - because I didn't want to change either.

Now I'm hoping for a better future for myself. So if I can do it, then anyone can.

Swine flu in the Pinellas County Jail

Last Wednesday (July 29), a guard wearing a mask took an inmate out of our pod. The inmate had flu symptoms, but he was returned to our pod an hour later.

All week long, the guards told us that although there were suspected cases of the swine flu at the jail, no one in the Central building had it.

Two or three days ago, we found out on the news on the Español channel that the whole 2nd floor of the Central building had been under quarantine. (I'm on the 4th floor.)

Nice way to find this out.

The Tampa Tribune reported on Thursday (July 30) that seven inmates had tested positive for the swine flu. The Trib stated that nine jail pods were quarantined, affecting 320 male and female inmates.

All I know is that all the guards on our floor are wearing blue masks.

Five mug shots since I turned 18

1/4/08 Two misdemeanors - possession of marijuana

3/24/08 One felony - possession of cocaine

9/11/08 One misdemeanor - possession of marijuana

10/7/08 Two misdemeanors - possession of marijuana

10/31/08 Three felonies - Trafficking MDMA (Ecstasy), possession of cocaine, criminal mischief; one misdemeanor - possession of marijuana

Unfortunately, there are many more juvenile charges too.

Kids, drugs, crime and consequences

I want to reach kids like these. Drugs are getting kids as young as 7 or 8 (or younger!) into trouble.

Video of Pinellas County Jail

Just one of the many annoying things about life in jail... No matter where I am when I hear this loud, piercing siren, I know that it's 12 noon on Friday. They're supposedly testing the system, but I don't know if it's an escape alarm or what.

Is my life over before it begins?

Your whole life changes when you've been convicted of a felony.

I've had so many felony convictions - both as a juvenile and after I turned 18 - I've lost count.

Depending on the state you live in, a convicted felon:

· Can't join the armed forces.
· Can't vote.
· Can't own a gun.
· Can't own a passport [if you're on parole or probation]
· Can't hold a public office
· Can't teach in schools
· Can't work in any government office
· Can't hold any professional license (to be an electrician, plumber, etc...)

Most job applications ask if you've been convicted of a felony. I've heard of people in their 40s who were arrested in their teens who still have are having trouble getting jobs.

So, is my life over even before it starts?

Am I still a U.S. citizen?

Where will I work?

How can I ever get married and support a family?

These are things I think about every day. There's plenty of time here to think about them.

A Halloween army of ninjas

When an opportunity presented itself, oh, almost a year ago, I didn't stop to think about certain consequences. All I knew was that I needed some money and needed it quickly.

The price of cigarettes continued to climb and I smoked. When you're addicted to smoking, it ain't easy to quit. I needed cigarettes badly.

My best friend, Steven, received a phone call on his cell and asked me if I wanted to make $150. Sure, I said. Someone wanted to buy 50 Ecstasy pills (aka MDMA).

Steven vouched for the guy who was calling, but said the guy was calling for someone else whose name kinda sounded familiar. It was possible the actual buyer was an undercover cop that I had run into before - and had actually had called Internal Affairs on - but that's a separate story.

We both knew a dealer who supplied Ecstasy. All I needed to do was drive Steven's car to the Walmart parking lot, check out the buyer, and make sure it wasn't that particular cop. I would then call the dealer to give the all clear.

I drove to the Walmart parking lot outside of the Garden department. It was dark and I wasn't paying particular attention to the other cars parked in the parking lot. As I drove close, my attention was on one particular car all by itself.

When I got out - I swear - a guy in a uniform jumped out right next to me from [what seemed to be] directly inside a tree (!)

Within seconds, every car in the immediate vicinity was mobilized and I was surrounded. It seemed like men - some wearing all black, some in civilian clothes and some in uniforms (all wearing black ski masks) poured out of every single car. I felt like an army of ninjas was coming straight for me!

I tried to run, honest I did. Somehow, one grabbed me and I felt my body smash against the car roof and then I was slammed to the asphalt.

I'm guessing here, the guy was indeed the undercover cop. He leaned close and whispered, "I told ya I'd get ya" and smiled.

Maybe he was looking for revenge, but I was dumb enough to let him get it.

All for $150.

So here I sit.

I had just gotten out of the Pinellas County Jail three days before after spending four months behind bars.

Real smart, huh?

I was arrested on the night before Halloween. And I sure got a scare that night alright. Nine months and counting.

Who said smoking was harmless?

A typical jail fight

Since I am trying to turn away from a life of crime, I no longer promote violence. But occasionally, I will see a fight that makes me glad I was close enough to witness it.

For instance, the other day, I was walking by another inmate's room and I heard a Spanish dude shout at a white guy. I'm not sure what he was yelling about, but still I tried to calm the guy down. I quickly realized there was no reasining with him, so I decided to watch.

The Spanish guy told the white guy to get off his top bunk. The white guy jumped off the bunk and reached down to put on his shoes on to fight. The Spanish guy rushed him anbd kicked him in the face four times before the white guy could put his hands up.

I tried to pull the Spanish guy off, but because I'm not a big guy, I wasn't doing too well. Next thing I knew, it was all over. There was blood EVERYWHERE. The poor white guy had a permanent shoe print on his face.