I've spent two years in prison relaying stories sent by letters to a blogger about my crimes, arrests, and life in four Florida prisons, the Pinellas County Jail, juvenile detention and drug rehab. I'm sending a message to others not to make the same mistakes I did.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Darren



A man named Darren read the Teen in Jail blog and left a comment under the blog entry titled "Oh grow up" on January 22nd. He wrote:

"A friend sent me this link, my name is Darren 45, I was just like Ted. I was locked up at 12 and did not stop until I was 40. But like you my family stuck by me for all those 24 years of lockup. It was a long haul. But in the end I found my voice, myself and life. I began to write inside and now am a very accomplished poet. I have a five year old son and now a daughter that is going to come and live with me. I have divested parole long ago. And am going to school. Doing the right thing all the time has its rewards, not the huge payoff of an armed robbery or drug deal, but I find that when something good does transpire however small, like a green light, or getting the bills paid, these are rewards that make me smile, I still hope for success as a writer, or to be rich, but now common sense rules that. I love that stories like Teds are getting out there, so many people think building more prisons is the answer. What I do think is that they need more education, and people like Ted or I involved to help the kids slipping between the cracks, like Ted or I. Just recently here a play was put on by a bunch of cons. And I go read my poetry out loud. Tell Ted that life is beautiful, that living among sane people is much better, most of all tell him to like himself. I wish my mom would have had the same devotion. Ted is lucky to have his mom. I hope he know this. Darren"

I asked Darren to email me some poems and I would post one. He wrote back:

"I sent a few that were about being locked up, and ones about the only friends I ever made that are never leaving that place, I sent some that have been written since I have been out. A person can change, and become happy with who he is. The prison enrollment seems to be the thing for so many young, I fight for my son Aiden's future now. Darren"

Here is his poem:

From my little hole on this planet,
I can’t see just where I am
There is a world out there.
I can still hear its calls,
Just can’t envision it anymore.
Lost in this bottomless pit,
I breathe the same air as the people out there.
But like some delirious dog, I am kept at bay.
An electric fence keeps me inside,
A side of society’s face they must hide.
Only when I lay my head down at night
Do I leave this darkness behind.
I then wake here again.
Oh my God, back in the land of the damned.
I wish I could find a bridge to nowhere
Because with all my heart and soul I would be there.
But I am locked in this penitentiary
A madman’s sanctuary
Faced daily with anguish
And myself made slavery.
I only that hope one day
The screams in my head will take over.
Then the inescapable chore of living here
I'd no longer have to fear.
Photos: Darren and his son Aiden

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