Finding a purpose in life

Tonight when I was on the phone with my mom, she told me that there are people all over the world that are reading my posts.

I'm not at all bragging, it's just that when I started writing I just never expected anybody outside of my county to read my blog. I only wanted to help others that grew up in the same place I did.

I never thought that my writing would become so popular. Even here in prison, every CO knows about my writing. I can't believe I've been given such a great opportunity to speak to people all over the world.

I've honestly never stuck with anything my whole life until now. I feel like I finally found a purpose. I never thought I would find what I love to do while I'm incarcerated. It only goes to show that no matter what your situation is, you can always improve it and find something that makes you happy.

Out of sight, out of mind

While I was in county jail, I used to get letters from a couple of people. They kept writing and always encouraged me. They told me they would continue to write and they couldn’t wait until I got out. Apparently, that isn’t the case because ever since I got to prison back in September, I haven’t received one letter from any of those people that said they’d keep writing. I guess it's “out of sight, out of mind.”

Being incarcerated, you learn who really cares about you. Even most of my old friends didn’t write me while I was at the jail. It’s been 15 – 16 months since I’ve heard from any of them. Not that I’d want to [hear from them] these days, but it really shows me who keeps me in their thoughts. Although I must say – for the few people who were writing me in the jail, telling me they were proud of me and can’t wait ‘til I get out – it really caught me off guard when you stopped writing. I was hurt for awhile, but now I can see I mean nothing to you. It’s okay though. There are still plenty of people that want me to do right when I get out.

Ketchup on copper

Today I learned something kinda weird. I was given an assignment to clean the copper pipes behind the stove. As I went to go get some cleaning materials, the CO told me to go get some ketchup. “For what?” I thought maybe it was for lunch or something, but as it turns out, ketchup makes copper look brand new. Who would have thought! It was so easy too. I just let the ketchup sit on the pipes for 10 – 15 minutes and scrubbed the pipes. All the rust and grime came right off.

When I started, the pipes looked 50 years old and when I finished, the pipes looked like they were just installed. I didn’t even have to scxrub hard.

So if you have any copper pipes that look like they were installed in the 1930s, you should try putting ketchup on them. You’ll be surprised!

This is your brain on drugs

"This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs" is the most widely-shown TV message of any created by the Partnership for Drug-Free America in its 20-year history. Click on the video below to see this famous commercial from 1987.

Drugs aren't harmless - not even marijuana. Many parents believe that marijuana isn't that bad because they smoked it when they were younger. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, marijuana today is more dangerous than it was in the 60s and 70s . Some reports estimate that today's marijuana is five times the strength than it was in the 1970s while other reports estimate the strength is as high as 25 times that of earlier decades. That's a lot of dead brain cells.

Drugs aren't cool. You could end up in prison or worse. Read more about how drug use destroys your life: Get Smart About Drugs.

My grandma and I

When I was six years old, my mom, dad and I moved from Connecticut to Florida to live with my grandma. My grandma had M.S., but she could get around in her electric scooter.

After my parents got divorced, I had to start helping my grandma out with just about everything. I went to the store for her, cleaned for her, walked her dog, mowed the yard every now and then, etc… I could go on forever.

My mom and I continued to live with my grandma because she needed so much help and it wouldn’t have been right to make her live alone.

As the years passed, her M.S. got worse – to the point where she couldn’t get out of her bed at all. It was hard on me and my mom because she could no longer get up to do the things that she needed to do like eat. Even though she hired a home health aide to come in for a few hours each day, I had to help her the rest of the time.

It’s not that I don’t love my grandmother, but it was hard on me because she needed so much. I know she can’t help her condition and I regret holding it against her.

Now as I sit in prison, I think about when I helped her and how I should’ve done more. When I’m released, I’m going to move back in with her and show her how I’ve really changed.

My new job

For the last two months, I’ve been working in the kitchen washing pots and pans, but just this last week I was promoted to cook.

At first even though I was excited, I was also nervous because the thought of making food for 300 people seemed a little overwhelming.

My first day, though, I realized it was actually pretty easy. All I need to learn were the recipes (which are all written down if I needed them) and where all the different foods were kept. I learned all that in about an hour.

I’ve been a cook for a few days now and it’s a breeze. I really like learning how to make all the different kinds of food. I really expected it to be a lot harder considering my only real cooking experience involved a microwave.

Who knows? Maybe when I get out, I’ll have enough experience to get a job as a cook.

Scared Straight

When Ted was about 13 years old and first starting to get in trouble, I ordered a DVD of Scared Straight from eBay for him. Scared Straight was a documentary released in 1978 and narrated by Peter Falk.

The documentary follows a group of cocky juvenile delinquents as they are introduced to actual convicts at Rahway State Prison in an attempt to end their criminal ways. The “lifers” scream at and terrify the teenagers in an attempt to “scare them straight”.

While a DVD can convey the message to some extent, I’m sure the actual experience made a much greater impression. I wish Florida sponsored a similar program for delinquent youngsters to participate in - before they possibly end up like Ted ... in prison.

Scared Straight is still available on eBay. Here is a clip from the documentary:

Oh grow up!

All day long I hear people my age tell me that they’re grown men. I just don’t see it. Most of the people I’m locked up with act like they’re kids. I think all the drugs they’ve done slowed their brains down and their bodies just keep growing.

Also they talk about how they’ll never come back to prison, then five minutes later, they’re talking about selling dope, making money and just doing some really dumb stuff.

How do they think they’ll get away with all that stuff for the rest of their lives and never get caught? I guess that’s why they say that 85% of inmates will come back to prison. Some people just can’t learn. They just want to act like kids for the rest of their lives.

Even though I’m in prison just like them, I don’t ever remember acting immature like a lot of other people here. I can’t wait to leave here to get away from them.

Teen in Jail on ABC News Now

Teen in Jail ran on ABC News Now, the network's 24-hour cable channel, today. There's a good chance it will also run on World News Now, the early morning news on ABC (runs 2 a.m. - 4 a.m. in most markets).

The link online can be found at:
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=9618674

The clip also was aired on ABC World News a few days later.

Hell on Earth

It’s hard to really put into words what prison is really like. Most of society’s worst people live behind these gates. Of course, there are a select few that just made some mistakes, but for the most part, prison is filled with people that will continue to come back again and again. They don’t care about anybody but themselves. They certainly don’t care about you. They might try and act like they do, but don’t be fooled. Your best bet in prison is to stick to yourself and if possible find someone who is trying to better himself.

Prison is truly “Hell on Earth”. You constantly have to watch your back. Even while you’re sleeping, the slightest noise will wake you up. There is no such thing as a good night’s sleep in here.

Another thing, the COs run everything. I’m not saying they’re bad people – it’s just that you always have them around telling you what to do. It gets aggravating.

I think the worst part though is waking up in the morning just knowing you have to do it all over again. I’ll never be able to ever forget one single day here in prison.

Reaching the world

Since its inception six months ago, the blog Teen in Jail has received comments and emails from scores of teenagers, parents, grandparents, teachers, churches, youth groups, drug rehab programs, former inmates and families of prisoners. They’ve emailed from as far away as the U.K., Greece, Brazil and Malaysia. They’ve written asking for advice in personal situations with drugs or gang involvement or to convey their fears about their children or grandchildren. Others have just emailed encouragement to Ted. Many have written to tell him they are praying for him. Ted has already received invitations for speaking engagements when he is released.

If you Google “Teen in Jail” and Braden, you get over 103,000 hits. The blog has appeared on a wide variety of sites for teens, criminal justice, a congressional bill, newspapers, news channels and sites in countries such as France, Italy, Thailand, Russia and Ethiopia.

Not all the responses have been favorable. Some are understandably skeptical as to the outcome. Most, however, encourage Ted to keep up the good work and to let them know he is making a difference.

And he is…

To get a message to Ted, you can either leave a comment on the blog or email teeninjail@yahoo.com. I print out all comments and emails and send them to him. He appreciates all your thoughts and prayers.

Black sheep?

I have an aunt up north. If you ever met her, she would seem like a really nice person and she probably believes that she is. She keeps telling my mom and the rest of her family all these stories about how all my other cousins are doing so well and how they’ve accomplished so much. Well that’s all great, but she refuses to mention me and how I’m trying to help others in my same position.

I really never thought anything of it until recently when my mom talked to relatives she hasn’t seen in awhile. As it turns out, my aunt won’t talk about me because I'm a family embarrassment and she thinks my mom is glorifying me. Maybe in a sense she is, but why not? If I can use my past to better my future and also help others as well, what’s wrong with that? I know the things I’ve done are wrong, but when did I ever brag about my past? When has my mom every glorified the things I’ve done? She only glorifies the things I’m doing to better myself. I think that people who have been where I’ve been are in the best position to help those that need it the most.

If somebody sees any problem with that, please tell me. I suppose it's impossible not to step on some toes at times, especially people who have never met me. It just makes me sad when a relative doesn't support me. It shows me how lucky I am to have the support of those close to me and who haven't given up on me.

Really she can try to ignore me all she wants, but it doesn’t change a thing.

Why I did what I did

People always want to know why I did some of the things I did and to be honest, I’m not sure I can fully answer that. The best answer I can come up with is because I could.

Once I turned 13, my mom started traveling a lot because of her job, so she wasn’t around much to know what I was really doing. That’s about the same time I joined a gang and started doing drugs. It’s not her fault I started getting into trouble. It was all mine and I don’t blame anybody but myself.

I always knew right from wrong, but I figured that if I just didn’t get caught, I would be alright. Of course it didn’t turn out to be okay, but this is obviously where God wants me to be and to be honest, I think I should be here too. I needed something to stop what I was doing before I killed somebody or myself.

I really don’t think anything would have stopped me from doing the things I did. I liked that lifestyle I was living too much. Now as I think back, though, I realize I was so stupid. I’m just so surprised I didn’t get caught a long time ago. I only got caught doing petty stuff, but for some reason, I always got away with the more serious stuff.

So yes, I deserve to be here, I blame nobody buy myself, and I’m learning from my mistakes.

And who knows? Maybe I can help some people along the way.

Florida prison videos

I’m currently waiting on more blog entries to arrive from Ted.

This particular video is an introduction to Florida’s prisons for those interested in entering the correctional officer field. The buildings are clean and pristine. There are no dirty cells crawling with bugs, no bloody mattresses and certainly no correctional officers beating and kicking the inmates.

FL DOC Video

The following video on YouTube is a stark contrast to the one touted by the Florida DOC. It shows the abuse of Justin Caldwell at the Aurthur G. Dozier School for Boys in Marianna, Florida, on February 11th, 2007 and it was caught on at least three video cameras.



The video can also be found on YouTube here.

The images begin at 17:48 or 5:48 p.m.

17:48:12 Dozier ISP Front Bunks – Scroll to 17:52:50. Watch the calmness of the scene. Suddenly, at 17:53:17, without warning or apparent provocation, a guard appears to hit Justin below the chin and throw him backward to the floor.

17:50:17 Dozier ISP Common Room (Facing South) – Scroll to 17:53:17. There is another glimpse of the violence in the guard’s seemingly unprovoked attack on Justin.

17:54:30 Dozier ISP Common Room (Facing North) – At 17:54:30, Justin is walked to the back corner of the Common Room where he is seen to collapse and is then dragged from the corner.

While there are two sides to every story, according to his father, Mark Caldwell, Justin initially began his DJJ incarceration at 13 after being found guilty of theft.

Mark Caldwell said it was a series of "petty accusations" that prolonged his son's stay at various DJJ facilities, ultimately landing him at Dozier School.

He alleges that a guard’s accusations of battery were made to cover up an incident that occurred later that day, which involved a different guard, Alvin Speights.

Speights was accused of battering Caldwell and the incident in question was caught on surveillance footage.

After reviewing testimony and the surveillance footage, a Jackson County grand jury exonerated Speights, saying "Speights was justified in the use of force required to insure the protection and safety of himself and others and that no criminal charges are warranted against him.”

On November 27, 2007, the Jackson County Floridian reported that Justin Caldwell was sentenced to five years in prison after being found guilty of battery on detention facility staff.

For more on Justin Caldwell, visit here.

The head in the head

Even with Ted gone for 15 months, he still causes an occasional stir around the house!

Ted was arrested on October 30, 2008 (after just getting out of jail three days earlier from a four-month stay at the same jail). Ted’s stepfather, Doug, moved in on December 15, 2008.

Recently Doug noticed the fence in the backyard behind our shed was leaning outward due to a lot of junk pressing against it. He began to clean things out to keep the fence from falling down, one such object being an old toilet.

Doug dragged the toilet toward him and suddenly jumped back in utter horror. He spotted the skull of a human head jutting out of the bowl!

“Oh no!” he thought to himself. “Don’t tell me Ted and his friends off’ed somebody.” He began to contemplate all the horrific ramifications to come.

Using a long-handled hoe to cautiously pull the toilet into greater view, Doug breathed a sigh of relief and then laughed. Turns out the scalp was part of a plastic monster’s head that Ted and I rigged up a couple of years ago for a Halloween haunted house prop.

Luckily Doug still hasn’t encountered the accompanying fake body limbs of the monster stuffed in a bag in the shed. Unless he reads this blog, I can’t wait until the day he flips out again when he comes across that bag.

You've got to want to change

I’m trying harder than I ever have before to change my life because prison is not a place I ever want to return to. I actually want to do something with my life, but something that I noticed (and it’s a sad truth) is that a lot of people that I’m locked up with don’t seem like they want to change their lives. They write letters to their families saying they’re sorry, they’ll do better, and right after they’re done writing the letter, they’re talking about selling dope or robbing people. I just don’t understand how people in prison can plan to do stuff or talk about doing stuff that will put them right back in here.

I’m willing to do anything to not come back. I disappointed my family too many times and I don’t ever want to see that look on their faces again.

Why don’t other people feel this way? It seems like they just don’t care. They’re just gonna do what they want – no matter what anyone else says. It’s sad that they won’t ever change. I wish I could do something, but I’m helpless. They have to want to change and like I said before, it seems like they don’t want to.

No privacy

I’m so tired of being incarcerated. There’s never a moment when I can have some privacy. There are always other people around me. I just wish I could have 10 minutes alone in silence, but that’s impossible in prison.

After awhile, you get used to it and if you concentrate hard enough, you don’t notice there’s a room full of people around you. I can tune other people out really well, especially when I’m reading or writing. My concentration never lasts though. Someone always wants to come talk to me about something when all I want to do is forget they’re there.

I’ve always been really quiet and shy when I’m around a lot of people, but for some reason I get along with almost everybody.

It’s not that I don’t like people – it’s just that I like to be alone sometimes. Well, I only have to deal with it for seven more months and I’m done. Then I can have all the peace and quiet I want.

Ted tells me the toilets in the dorms are all in the open - there are no stalls. He usually tries to wait to go to the bathroom when he works in the kitchen, which does have a closed toilet.

A day to remember with my dad

Today is a day I’ll remember forever. Today is the first time in 15 months that I saw my dad in person.

For the last month, all I’ve been looking forward to is getting a visit from him and when he finally walked into the visitation room today, I was filled with so much excitement.

One thing that really hurt me though – I noticed that since the last time I saw my dad, he looked like he got older and it really made me realize how much I’m really missing while I’m here in prison. Other than that though, I had a great visit.

For some reason, I’m always really quiet around him, but I hope he knows that I was really happy to see him. He always has the corniest jokes that I can’t help but laugh at. Even when he’s not telling jokes, he has this funny mannerism about him.

I really love spending time with him. I just wish I knew how to tell him. Even though I can’t express my feelings like I want to, I still had a great time today. We played cards, ate food and talked about the old times when I was younger.

I just can’t wait until the next time he comes to see me. Better yet, I can’t wait ‘til I get out so I can spend time with him without looking at razor wire fences and correctional officers watching us at all times.

Ted’s dad, Bill Braden, visited him occasionally in the county jail from October 31, 2008 until September 8, 2009, but the visitations were over a video monitor telephone. Inmates at the jail were in a separate building from visitors. It makes all the difference in the world to kiss and hug your child for the first time in over a year. See a video of Teddy with his daddy in 1992 here.

Photo: Ted Braden and Bill Braden on January 3, 2009 in the visitation room at Lancaster work camp. Click photo to enlarge.

An uncertain future

Now that 2010 is here and with all the holidays coming and going, my head is a mess.

Sometimes for weeks at a time I’m excited and happy my time is flying by, but out of nowhere, it’s like I hit a brick wall and fall into a depression that seems like it will never end. Also at times, I’m so sure about what I want to do when I get out and then the next day, I have no idea. I can’t keep my thoughts and emotions straight. It kills me to think that I could very easily spend the rest of my life going to and from prison without even trying.

I’m reminded daily of the odds stacked against me - sometimes that’s what keeps me working toward a better future, but other times it just makes me want to give up. It’s so easy to give up. I could tell you about it just as much as the next guy because I’ve done it all my life. I gave up school, good friends, and even my family at times. I just can’t seem to hold on.

I hate to admit this, but from time to time, I can’t help but cry, knowing I might never be able to stop being who I was. I want nothing more than to live a normal life. I don’t care if I’m dirt poor, working at a minimum wage job – just as long as I can say I’m trying my best. That’s all I want, but everything just seems so hard. Especially being a convicted felon. That doesn’t help me at all. It only makes things 10 times worse.

I hate thinking like this, but sometimes I can’t help it. Let’s face it – everything I worry about is a reality. I’ve got a lot of things I have to face when I get out. It’s overwhelming at times.

All I can do for now though is deal with my current situation and then worry about everything else when it comes. When I finally get out, I’ll just have to deal with everything one thing at a time, not all at once, or I’ll be crushed under all the pressure. I know it.

I hate to ask for help, but I know I won’t make it without it.

Heartfelt pain

I love getting visits from my family and it’s always the highlight of my week. For me the six hours of visit is like heaven, but for some it’s like a dream that you don’t ever want to end.

While I visit with Mom or Dad, I look around and can’t help but notice people that very rarely get visits are spending those very precious six hours or less with their kids. What gets me is a lot of these guys that have kids are younger than me and I’m only 20. I don’t know what I’d do if I had a kid so young.

What’s even worse is having a kid so young and then being sent away to prison. I thought I had it bad.

My heart goes out to these people that can’t be with their kids – especially during the holidays. I can’t even imagine the pain they feel. Just imagine how hard it is for the kid’s mother, having to support their baby by themselves in this economy while the father is in prison.

Most of these guys that have kids will never even get a visit. I’ve heard so many stories about how they can’t even get their kid’s mother to even write them, let alone come to visit. I don’t know how they deal with the pain. I couldn’t do it and hopefully I’ll never have to.

Another Christmas gone

Another Christmas has passed and it was no different from any other day. The only good thing about Christmas was that I got a visit from my mom. Other than that, I still had to go to work in the kitchen and listen to people telling me what to do and what not to do. It really was the same as every other day in prison.

Sometimes throughout Christmas Day, I forget it’s even a holiday. If I didn’t know that it was the 25th of December, I wouldn’t even know it was Christmas. There are no Christmas lights, nobody singing, no gifts or Christmas cards, and most of all – nobody has the Christmas spirit.

Unfortunately people get used to it after awhile. Sure it’s depressing, but there’s nothing I or anybody else here can do about it. All we can do is go about our day and make the best of it, no matter what.

Unlike a lot of people in here though, at least I can say I’ll be out of here next year for Christmas. There will be no more Christmases, Thanksgivings, New Years, 4th of Julys, etc. for me behind razor wire fences. I’ve missed too many already. More than I can count it seems like. It hurts me to even think about it.

The pain is almost over though. Just seven more months to go.

Breaking News - Feds: Youthful inmates are sexual victims

Published: Jan. 7, 2010 at 7:46 PM

WASHINGTON, Jan. 7 (UPI) -- About 12 percent of incarcerated youthful offenders were sexually abused at least once while in jail in 2008-2009, a U.S. Justice Department report indicated.

About 2.6 percent of youth reported an incident involving another youth, and 10.3 percent said a sexual encounter involved a facility employee, the department's Bureau of Justice Statistics said.

The report was mandated by the Prison Rape Elimination Act, the department said in a release.

The National Survey of Youth in Custody included reports by youth to incidents occurring in the last 12 months or since their admission to the facility if less than 12 months, the department said.

Citing the numbers of abuse instances in the report, Prison Fellowship Vice President Pat Nolan called on Attorney General Eric Holder to adopt standards holding prison officials accountable for ending the sexual violence.

"No crime -- no matter how heinous -- has a sentence that includes sexual assault," Nolan said.

The survey was conducted between June 2008 and April 2009 in 166 state-owned or -operated juvenile facilities and 29 locally or privately operated facilities. The department said it received 9,198 completed interviews.

Males were more likely than females to report sexual activity with facility staff -- 10.8 percent compared to 4.7 percent -- but less likely than females to report forced sexual activity with another youth -- 2.0 percent compared to 9.1 percent, the survey said.

About 4.3 percent of youth said they were forced to engage in sexual activities with staff, while 6.4 percent said their sexual contact with staff wasn't because of a threat or otherwise coerced.

Based on the percentages of youth reporting incidents, the study said 13 juvenile facilities had high rates of sex abuse and victimization, 11 facilities had low rates and five facilities had no reported incidents.

http://www.examiner.com/x-26875-St-Petersburg-Headlines-Examiner~y2010m1d8-Federal-survey-reports-youthful-inmates-are-sexual-victims

Update: I visited with Ted on January 10th and he told me that he wasn't aware of any sexual misconduct having taken place at Lancaster C.I. or Lancaster Work Camp. When Ted was 17, he was at Avon Park Youth Park, a medium-security juvenile detention facility. Avon Park did have such an incident before Ted was there: http://www.baynews9.com/content/36/2004/10/7/57628.html

Answers to your questions

I sent a long list of questions to Ted on October 27, 2009 when he was at the Central Florida Reception Center (CFRC) in Orlando. Here’s what he sent back on November 6, 2009:

Answers to your questions
(Uhhh Here we go)

Do you have a mattress at least on the floor or are you sleeping on the hard floor?
I have a bottom bunk here in Orlando.

Is the floor cement?
The floor is made of cement.
(He had been sleeping on the floor in the box at Brevard.)

Do you have A/C?
No A/C, but it’s cool outside at night, so it’s okay.

Is it too hot or too cold there?
It’s not too hot or cold as of now.

Are there bugs like before?
Not as many bugs here as at Lake Butler.

Is the cell dirty?
Every cell in prison is dirty.

What do you have for bedding? Pillow? Blanket? Sheets?
I have no pillow, 2 sheets, 1 blanket, and a thin mat.

Can you tell me about your cellmates other than the fact that they’re cool?
I don’t really know my new cell mate. He’s quiet.

You don’t get to go outside at all in solitary? Just to showers?
You can’t go outside when you’re in the box except after 30 days and then when you do go outside, it’s in a tiny human, dog cage that’s not even big enough to run around and you can only go out there for 3 hours a week at the most.

Are the showers for the regular cells also 20 minutes long?
Showers are for 1 – 2 minutes in regular cells.

Are they too hot or too cold or can you adjust the water temperature?
You can’t adjust the shower temp, but the showers are always either way too hot to get in or way too cold.

Do they give you soap, shampoo and a towel?
Yes, they give us soap and a towel. No shampoo.

When you first got there, what were you issued? Towel? Toothbrush? Soap? Toothpaste?
(Describe all items you were given on first day)
When I first got to Brevard, they give you sheets, blanket, soap, laundry bag, towel, new clothes with your name and DC# stitched on, a razor, toothbrush and toothpaste.

Did you get a rulebook?
Yes, I got a rulebook from Brevard.

Can you tell me about guards or other kids there, or is that not allowed? Can you write about them, but not use names perhaps?
I can’t write about guards and I don’t know anything about anybody else to write about.

Can you buy a TV in the canteen? Radio?
AH Ha There’s no TV on canteen, but you can buy a radio.

Now that weather is getting colder, can you buy long underwear or a sweatshirt or something? (Why do mothers always ask this?)
I’m not really sure about sweatshirts yet. I’m trying to find out though.

How far do you have to walk to get to the shower? Do you pass other cells on the way?
When I was in the box at Brevard, the shower was about four feet from my cell. Why they had to handcuff me to walk four feet, who knows?

What are the walls made out of in the cell? What color are the walls and floor?
The floor is gray and the walls are white.

What’s in the cell? Two beds, toilet? Shelves? Table? Where do you keep your stuff?
There’s 2 beds, a metal toilet/sink, and 2 metal lockers on the floor (at Orlando).

What have you bought so far in the commissary?
All I really buy on canteen is food. I was buying cigarettes at Lake Butler, but since I keep getting transferred, I think I might try and quit. It’s more stressful to start and stop.

Does anybody take your commissary stuff?
I’ve had some envelopes stolen, but that’s it so far. Oh yea, send more. Someone stole 10 last night when I took a shower.

Did you buy a deck of cards in solitary?
You can’t have cards in the box.

Did you get any of my books yet?
I didn’t get your books. I probably won’t now.
(He did eventually get all the books I sent when he got to the work camp at Lancaster.)

Did you ask the chaplain for a visit and a Bible?
I didn’t ask the chaplain to come see me, but I did get a nice Bible though. I read it every night.

What kind of food do you get for meals? Do you get enough? Is it good?
We get meatloaf, hot dogs, oatmeal, grits, eggs, coffee cakes, noodles, spaghetti, etc… Really we get a little bit of everything. It never seems like enough, but it’s better than the county jail.

Have you been able to get any books from the library?
I don’t know how the library works.

Have they told you anything about getting your wisdom teeth pulled?
!* IMPORTANT: They won’t pull my wisdom tooth because they said it was fine. I saw the dentist at Brevard last Thursday.

Will you be able to take a CDL class or any other class?
I’m not sure if I even have enough time to take a trade. They say I need at least a year or more.

What do people do when they’re outside? Just start fights?
People just sit around outside. All the fights are inside where the CO can’t see.

Do you know how tall you are now?
I don’t think I grew, but who knows?

Whoo…from now on if you ask like 1/12 the questions, I’ll answer them in more detail.

Ted later explained to me that the toilet and sink were one piece. The sink is on the back of the toilet.

Canteen

I'm waiting on some new letters from Ted. Here is an entry he sent a while ago.

Items in canteen that I know about:

Ramen noodles
Honeybun
Different kinds of cookies
Photo album
Paper
Pen
Pencil
Cigarettes
Rolling papers
Lighter
Sodas
Soap
Shampoo
Deodorant
Hair grease
Brush
Kool-Aid
Hamburger
A-1 barbeque sauce packet (my favorite)
Burrito
Bear claw
Tuna
Chili
Beef stew
Envelopes
Stamps
Fireballs
Jolly Ranchers
All kinds of candy bars
Chips
Pickles
Radio
Lotion
Shoes
Shower slides
Thermals (shirt, pants)
Crackers
Chili dog
Folders
Cheese Squeeze
Cinnamon roll
Slim Jims
Property bag
Plastic cup (no bowls)
Spoons
Padlock

There’s more, but I don’t know what else there is. There isn’t a list like in County Jail.

At visitation, there’s a list on the wall for visitors and the inmates to order from. Small packets of sugar, creamer and condiments sell for a few cents each. (Aren’t we lucky to get it for free on the outside?) Hamburgers, cheeseburgers, pizza, and similar sandwiches are frozen and must be heated in one of the three microwaves in the visitation room. Ted particularly has a fondness for the Snickers ice cream bars but can hardly eat them because of the pain in his tooth.

The Keefe Group is a supplier for correctional facilities. A list of their items can be found here.

Drug search

Earlier today as we were sitting in the dorm playing cards and just hanging out, the lieutenant and a K-9 dog and his trainer came in. They told everyone to sit on their bunks and face away from the CO’s office. I sleep against a wall, so I had a brick wall in my face and couldn’t see anything. We weren’t allowed to turn around until they were done with their search.

The trainer let the K-9 off his leash to run around the dorm to smell for drugs. After the dog ran around for 5 to 10 minutes, the trainer opened all our lockers and had the dog sniff each locker. Then when he was done with all the lockers, he brought the dog to each individual bunk to sniff. When the dog came to a bunk bed, he had to stand on his two hind legs to smell the top bunk. The whole search lasted about 30 to 40 minutes and no drugs were found.

Ted has told me that drugs do indeed get smuggled into prisons via visitations. Visitors are patted down and their coats and belongings are searched. Visitors to Lancaster are allowed to bring in up to $50 in cash, a single car key with no electronic key openers (unless a car cannot be opened without one), a photo ID, an unopened pack of cigarettes and a lighter in a clear Ziploc bag or see-through plastic pouch.

I’ve noticed that visitors with young children are allowed to bring in a transparent bag containing diapers, formula, bottles and toys, and that seems to be the most likely way to smuggle in any contraband. Items can also be hidden in the visitation rooms to be picked up later.

The penalty for smuggling drugs into a prison constitutes a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in Florida Statutes 775.082, 775.083, or 775.084. Translation: Up to 15 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. Repeat offenders can get more time and a higher fine.

For the complete visiting rules, see Florida Statutes Chapter 33-601.711-737 or the Florida Statutes State Correctional Code. Specific references for what may or may not be brought to visitations are addressed in FS 944.47 (see below).

944.47 Introduction, removal, or possession of certain articles unlawful; penalty.

(1)(a) Except through regular channels as authorized by the officer in charge of the correctional institution, it is unlawful to introduce into or upon the grounds of any state correctional institution, or to take or attempt to take or send or attempt to send there from, any of the following articles which are hereby declared to be contraband for the purposes of this section, to wit:

1. Any written or recorded communication or any currency or coin given or transmitted, or intended to be given or transmitted, to any inmate of any state correctional institution.

2. Any article of food or clothing given or transmitted, or intended to be given or transmitted, to any inmate of any state correctional institution.

3. Any intoxicating beverage or beverage which causes or may cause an intoxicating effect.

4. Any controlled substance as defined in s. 893.02(4) or any prescription or nonprescription drug having a hypnotic, stimulating, or depressing effect.

5. Any firearm or weapon of any kind or any explosive substance.

6. Any cellular telephone or other portable communication device intentionally and unlawfully introduced inside the secure perimeter of any state correctional institution without prior authorization or consent from the officer in charge of such correctional institution. As used in this subparagraph, the term "portable communication device" means any device carried, worn, or stored which is designed or intended to receive or transmit verbal or written messages, access or store data, or connect electronically to the Internet or any other electronic device and which allows communications in any form. Such devices include, but are not limited to, portable two-way pagers, hand-held radios, cellular telephones, Blackberry-type devices, personal digital assistants or PDA's, laptop computers, or any components of these devices which are intended to be used to assemble such devices. The term also includes any new technology that is developed for similar purposes. Excluded from this definition is any device having communication capabilities which has been approved or issued by the department for investigative or institutional security purposes or for conducting other state business.

(b) It is unlawful to transmit or attempt to transmit to, or cause or attempt to cause to be transmitted to or received by, any inmate of any state correctional institution any article or thing declared by this subsection to be contraband, at any place which is outside the grounds of such institution, except through regular channels as authorized by the officer in charge of such correctional institution.

(c) It is unlawful for any inmate of any state correctional institution or any person while upon the grounds of any state correctional institution to be in actual or constructive possession of any article or thing declared by this section to be contraband, except as authorized by the officer in charge of such correctional institution.

(2) A person who violates any provision of this section as it pertains to an article of contraband described in subparagraph (1)(a)1., subparagraph (1)(a)2., or subparagraph (1)(a)6. commits a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. In all other cases, a violation of a provision of this section constitutes a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084.

A rethink on young offenders

A St. Pete Times editorial in print Sunday, January 3, 2010 (see bolded portion)

Florida needs a strategy for fighting juvenile crime that is more effective and sustainable than shipping teenagers to adult jails and prisons. There is no need to throw away so many young lives or to waste tax dollars to build more prisons. A Miami-Dade County program is a national model for how to keep young offenders from committing new crimes. Hillsborough County should adopt that approach while state lawmakers reassess Florida's juvenile justice laws.

A recent analysis by St. Petersburg Times staff writer Colleen Jenkins found that Florida sends more children to adult jails and prisons than any other state. State lawmakers enacted a series of get-tough laws in the 1990s to respond to a spike in juvenile crime, making it easier for prosecutors to divert anyone under 18 years old into the adult system.

Florida transfers about half as many juveniles to adult court as it did at the peak in the 1990s. But the 3,592 juveniles sent to the adult system in the 2007-08 fiscal year represent a 45 percent jump since 2003-04. And Jenkins found a disparity in how the caseload was handled. Hillsborough transferred more juvenile cases to adult court than any other county that year. While six Tampa Bay area counties — Hillsborough, Pinellas, Pasco, Hernando, Citrus and Manatee — sent 1,410 juvenile cases to adult court, seven counties in Florida sent no young people to the adult system. Something appears to be out of whack. Florida is one of just 15 states to give prosecutors the authority to "direct file" juvenile cases to adult court, and that discretion could be easily abused by elected prosecutors.

Florida law requires that juveniles be charged in adult court for some violent offenses, such as murder. And adult court may be appropriate for some young repeat offenders. But the state needs to reassess whether the discretion to charge is being applied fairly and uniformly, and whether it has helped or hurt in controlling juvenile recidivism.
More communities also need to adopt the Miami-Dade model. For 10 years, officials there have routed juveniles to the behavioral, substance-abuse and other support services they need. Miami-Dade has cut its juvenile arrest rate by half, seen an 80 percent reduction in repeat offenders and saved some $20 million a year in costs to police, probation officers and the courts.
Pinellas adopted the model in April. Officials say 500 juveniles have avoided a criminal record and have received the services they need to turn away from crime. Hillsborough, which is looking into the program, should adopt it, too. About 25 percent more juveniles are arrested in Hillsborough than in Miami-Dade, even though Miami-Dade has twice the population. State Sen. Victor Crist, R-Tampa, chairman of the Criminal and Civil Justice Appropriations Committee, held a workshop recently on ways to cut court costs. He should look to Miami, where they have been doing it for years.

When I get out

I know I said that when I get out, I want to go to school, but then I ask myself:

What school will accept me?
Can I afford it?
Can I get a job to pay for school?
How will I get to and from school?

All these questions overwhelm me and I’m trying my hardest not to give in to the pressure. I know I could just say screw it, I’m in prison now, so I’m just going to get used to it. It’s way easier to not work and sell drugs – but I can’t do it.

For some reason, I feel like I’m meant for greater things.

Even though I know this, it’s a constant struggle for me. I know that when I am released I’ll have no car, no guaranteed job, no money saved up, and hardly any clothes, let alone dress clothes for interviews. All this is always at the back of my mind.

If I told you it wasn’t, I’d be lying. I know things won’t be easy, and I feel like I’m sitting on a fence hoping I don’t fall on the side with all the dangerous rocks.

I know I’ve only begun a long road to recovery, but once I’m released, that’s the true test. I want nothing more than to give this story of mine a happy ending.

The kitchen

I love working in the kitchen. Even though I just scrub pots and pans all day, it’s still a great job.

Of course, the best thing about the kitchen is the food. There’s always too much food for all of us to eat.

To me, though, that’s not why I like the job so much. I enjoy it so much because everyone in the kitchen is easy to get along with and we all just joke around. Sure we do our jobs, but we have a long break from about 1:30 p.m. to 4 p.m. and during that time we eat, drink, go outside and just hang out.

If I didn’t get along with the people in the kitchen, I obviously wouldn’t want to work there. Oh yeah, and the COs are cool too. As long as we follow the rules, they stay away from us. What more could I ask for?

Ted currently works from 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. in the kitchen, except for Tuesdays and Wednesdays - his days off. He hopes he can become a cook, which would provide good training for a possible future job.

I forgot my ID

This morning started out like every other morning. I woke up, made my bed, brushed my teeth, shaved, then sat down and waited to go to breakfast. Even though I’m used to this morning routine, I forgot one thing. To bring my ID to breakfast.

Everywhere we go, we’re supposed to bring our IDs. I made it all the way to the chow hall before I realized my mistake. I knew the CO inside was going to notice and he did.

He asked me where my ID was. I said, “I forgot it in the dorm, sir.” Well, he didn’t look happy. He told me to go ahead and eat then added, “When you’re done, come see me.”

I got back in line, grabbed my tray and sat down to eat. When I finished my food, I put my tray away and went back to the CO. He said he was going to go easy on me. “Give me 50 pushups now and then later I’m gonna bring you something.” So I did my 50 pushups and left.

About an hour later, the CO came to my dorm and woke me up. He handed me a large piece of paper that simply said in big letters “MY ID” and told me to come outside.

I got dressed and followed him. He said, “Okay, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to hold this piece of paper that says “MY ID” at your chest and march around the compound yelling ‘I will not forget my ID’ over and over. Just keep marching until I tell you to stop.” So I did.

Keep in mind it’s about 6:30 in the morning and I’m barely awake. I marched around the compound three times and he finally told me to stop. He said, “Okay, you’re done for now, but if I ever ask you for that piece of paper that says “MY ID,” you’d better have it. I don’t care if it’s a week from now.” Then he let me go back to my dorm.

I felt so humiliated, but at least I’ll never forget my ID again!