Freedom of speech in prison?

I did manage to visit Ted on Sunday despite being sick for a week. He had called on Saturday night to say he had some important things to tell me. It turns out he witnessed one inmate attempting to kill another inmate among other things. More on those in subsequent posts.

Ted did write more blog entries and placed two envelopes on his cell bars for the CO to pick up. The CO came, took one of the envelopes, crumpled it up and threw it at Ted - for no reason whatsoever. So much for freedom of speech in prison. Ted will attempt to send them out again.

At one of the other institutions Ted has been at, he kept a list of things to write about in a book when he gets out – since there’s a lot he’s not supposed to discuss from inside. That list was found by some COs and torn up. So I’m keeping a record of certain events for Ted.

You may remember that Ted met up with another young man who had come to Lancaster from Brevard as well. COs at Brevard took all the pens away from all the inmates for two weeks. As soon as Ted left for Lancaster, those pens were returned to all of the inmates.

Ted was not transferred to the work release camp yet and still remains at Lake Butler. He described his living conditions to me and I’ll relay them in tomorrow’s post.

My ex-girlfriend

Today I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend. I’m not sure how long it’s been since we talked to each other, but I know it’s been awhile. I’m just glad she wrote. She probably doesn’t know this, but she was the first girl I ever really loved.

Even though we’re not together anymore and we haven’t talked to each other in awhile, I still love her. I thought that after awhile, my feelings for her would go away, but they haven’t. Sure, I got over the fact that we’re not together anymore, but I still care about her.

About a month or so before we broke up, I surprised myself by asking her to marry me. A lot of people probably thought we were too young, but it didn’t really matter to me. At the time, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Actually, part of me still does, but I know it won’t happen.

I don’t think I could ever feel the same way about anyone else like I did with her. Really I don’t know if I’d want to. In the end it’s too painful.

I just want to say this last thing to her: No matter what, I still love you and I hope we will at least remain friends.

Writing to Teen in Jail

Last night, an old friend of Ted's who he hasn't seen in a very long time - "T" - knocked on my door to give my husband a letter for Ted. I had conked out at 7:30 p.m. after riding six hours and sitting for six more hours to visit Ted. I was sorry to miss seeing "T". I know Ted will love getting his letter.

While knocking on my door is one way to get a letter to Ted, there's a much simpler way! On the home page of Teen in Jail, Ted's current address is always displayed (right under the site counter). Currently Ted is at the following address:

Braden, Theodore, DC #131948
Lancaster C.I.
3449 SW State Road 26
Trenton, FL 32693-5641

I update that address every time Ted is transferred. If Ted is moved before he receives a letter, the prison will forward it to his new location (although this might take awhile).

For those that hate to hand-write letters and don't have a printer, you can always send an email to teeninjail@yahoo.com. (I usually have to weed through all the notifications that he won 10 million dollars. Boy, wouldn't that be nice?) Sometimes I forget to check that email address, but when I do, I print out the emails and send them to Ted.

You can call him "Ted" (although in prison, they just yell "BRADEN!!!") If you include a return address, he will write you back. (And "T", you can send me your return address to that email!)

Ted can receive greeting cards, but the envelopes must be white or yellow. Don't ask me why they can't be different colors - I don't know. I once sent a Halloween card with an ORANGE envelope (the horror!) and it was returned to me. Another Halloween card had PLASTIC EYEBALLS which apparently is a BIG no-no! So, make sure any cards don't have plastic pieces, glued-on decorations and most terrible of all - no singing cards!

Ted can also receive up to five photos per letter (standard 3X5's or 4X6's). Use discretion when sending pictures, though. No bikinis, for instance, or anything relating to gangs. Make sure you put your return address on the envelope.

Ted loves getting letters. Since he's been in prison, he has received letters from me, his father, his step-father, and just recently - his former girlfriend and two complete strangers. His disabled grandmother, who is completely paralyzed except for one hand, even managed to write him a letter. It completely makes his day to get mail. Strangely enough, the rest of his relatives and friends have not written him.

Out of sight, out of mind

While I was in county jail, I used to get letters from a couple of people. They kept writing and always encouraged me. They told me they would continue to write and they couldn’t wait until I got out. Apparently, that isn’t the case because ever since I got to prison back in September, I haven’t received one letter from any of those people that said they’d keep writing. I guess it's “out of sight, out of mind.”

Being incarcerated, you learn who really cares about you. Even most of my old friends didn’t write me while I was at the jail. It’s been 15 – 16 months since I’ve heard from any of them. Not that I’d want to [hear from them] these days, but it really shows me who keeps me in their thoughts. Although I must say – for the few people who were writing me in the jail, telling me they were proud of me and can’t wait ‘til I get out – it really caught me off guard when you stopped writing. I was hurt for awhile, but now I can see I mean nothing to you. It’s okay though. There are still plenty of people that want me to do right when I get out.

For You

Every day I talk to you on the phone. We talk about all the people we both know. We talk about all our favorite things. We talk about the past and future.

We talk about just about everything, but I’ve never actually met you in person.

It’s crazy because you even come to the jail to visit me.

I can’t describe how you bring me out of a bad mood every time I talk to you. You understand everything I’m going through.

Even though I’m going to prison, you tell me that you’ll keep writing – even though some of my closest friends from the street won’t take 10 minutes to at least write and ask how I’m doing.

Even the girl I asked to marry me won’t write me, but for some reason you still do.

I can’t describe how much I’m looking forward to getting out to meet you. I will never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done.

Thank you.