Changes on the outside

One thing I haven’t thought about in a long time is new movie releases. I was looking through the newspaper the other day and I saw some listings for movies that are now available on DVD. Most of the movies in there I’ve never even heard of.

I just can’t believe I’ve missed so much. I know I only got 24 months in prison, where as there are other people who have way longer to do than me. But still, in the time I’ve been incarcerated, new movies have come out, newer cars, and a big store was built near my mom’s house. Sure these are just little things, but people who live in the community are so used to all this that they don’t think too much about it.

When I get out, though, things will be a lot different. I’ll have to catch up on two years worth of movies. I’ll have a new Walmart two blocks from my house, and I’ll even have new neighbors I’ll have to meet.

I’m sure when I get out I’ll notice a lot of other things that have changed also. Well hopefully I’ll only have another five or six months left. That isn’t too bad.

You've got to want to change

I’m trying harder than I ever have before to change my life because prison is not a place I ever want to return to. I actually want to do something with my life, but something that I noticed (and it’s a sad truth) is that a lot of people that I’m locked up with don’t seem like they want to change their lives. They write letters to their families saying they’re sorry, they’ll do better, and right after they’re done writing the letter, they’re talking about selling dope or robbing people. I just don’t understand how people in prison can plan to do stuff or talk about doing stuff that will put them right back in here.

I’m willing to do anything to not come back. I disappointed my family too many times and I don’t ever want to see that look on their faces again.

Why don’t other people feel this way? It seems like they just don’t care. They’re just gonna do what they want – no matter what anyone else says. It’s sad that they won’t ever change. I wish I could do something, but I’m helpless. They have to want to change and like I said before, it seems like they don’t want to.