People magnet

There are times, when for no reason at all, I get so frustrated.

I’ve never been the kind of person that likes to be around a lot of people and being here, I have no choice. I’ve gotten used to it for the most part, but there are times when I just want to sit and be by myself for a little while. But for some reason, everybody feels like when they see me alone, that I need someone to talk to.

Why is it when I want to hang out and talk to people, everybody is too busy, but when I want everybody to leave me alone, I’m like a magnet?

Really I could do all my time with maybe one or two people to talk to, but instead, I seem to be really popular. It’s most likely only because I’ve had news crews come and interview me, which in prison seems to bring unnecessary attention. It’s not always a bad thing, but it gets extremely aggravating. Everybody wants to get to know me or they think they already do.

Actually, to be honest, I’m in a pretty bad mood right now. No matter where I go to be by myself, people gather around me to talk. I try not to be mean, but it’s the only thing that will make them understand that I want to be left alone.

I could continue to rant forever so I’m just going to stop. I guess just talking about it like this kinda helps get it off my chest.

Tooth pain will put anybody in a bad mood!

No privacy

I’m so tired of being incarcerated. There’s never a moment when I can have some privacy. There are always other people around me. I just wish I could have 10 minutes alone in silence, but that’s impossible in prison.

After awhile, you get used to it and if you concentrate hard enough, you don’t notice there’s a room full of people around you. I can tune other people out really well, especially when I’m reading or writing. My concentration never lasts though. Someone always wants to come talk to me about something when all I want to do is forget they’re there.

I’ve always been really quiet and shy when I’m around a lot of people, but for some reason I get along with almost everybody.

It’s not that I don’t like people – it’s just that I like to be alone sometimes. Well, I only have to deal with it for seven more months and I’m done. Then I can have all the peace and quiet I want.

Ted tells me the toilets in the dorms are all in the open - there are no stalls. He usually tries to wait to go to the bathroom when he works in the kitchen, which does have a closed toilet.