Wasted years

Two years of my life gone…and for what? A couple hundred dollars. I could’ve made that in a week working a decent job. I was too hard-headed for that though. I just wanted quick money and I didn’t care how I got it.

I’ve robbed people, broke into houses, sold drugs and sold my stuff. I loved money, but I loved to get high and have a good time more. It’s been that way since the first time I ever smoked weed. Sure I’ve had a lot of fun, but when I think back to all the people I’ve hurt, it just wasn’t worth it. It only took me seven years to realize it.

I could never repay all the money I’ve stolen. I put myself where I am today.

Hopefully, the people I hurt can forgive me, but I know there is no reason why they should and I wouldn’t hold it against them if they didn’t. All I can do is continue what I’m doing and hopefully inspire others before they make the same mistakes I did.

Worries

Even though I’m still finishing my prison sentence and I still belong to the Department of Corrections, now that I’m at work release I have new things to worry about: money, clothes and hygiene. Some of the things that really worry me are running into a group of old friends or drugs. It’s so easy in prison to stay clean because even though drugs are around, it’s not like on the street. So far I’ve been doing good, but a lot of people here have been sent back to prison for drug use, so I know it’s still around.

What worries me is – say I make it out of here in August, get out and move away. Then I’m going to have to start over somewhere else and I’ve never done that on my own before. I’ve been incarcerated during the years I should’ve been learning how to live on my own. It feels like I’m being kicked out of a cage into the chaotic world.

I know that if I really needed something, I could go to my parents, but I don’t want to have to do that for the rest of my life. For instance, when I get out, I have to pay these court costs off so I can get my license back, get a car and save up even more money so I can get an apartment. I don’t know how or where I’m going to get all this money. I know I have three months left, but that’s not a lot of time to save money, especially when they take 65% of everything I make.

Maybe when I get out I’ll work for a couple more months and save every penny I get. It just seems impossible to make it in the world sometimes.

Gambling in prison

The one thing you should never do in prison is gamble. Gambling starts all kinds of problems. Most of the time when someone asks if you want to gamble in a card game, they are planning to cheat in some way. Usually they are too good at it to be caught.

I myself am pretty good at the tricks, but refuse to gamble. Say I started to win, then I go to collect my debt and of course that person is already mad because they lost.  So why you ask for your money, they’ll probably keep giving you excuses until they get so made they want to fight.  Now let’s say you lose. The person you lose to is going to want your money ASAP. If you’re like a lot of people in here and have no money, you’re going to try and avoid them like the plague until they catch up to you and make you pay. So really it’s a lose-lose situation. Gambling causes so many problems, but yet people keep doing it.

I need my money too much to risk it in a poker game, so I just stay away. It’s really the smartest thing to do. Especially in prison.

Getting canteen

The one thing anybody in prison can hope for at the end of the day is getting a money receipt saying somebody put money in your account so you can buy canteen.

It’s hard not having canteen. Without it, it seems like you never eat enough and your personal hygiene is lacking. Once you get a money receipt though, it’s like hitting the lottery. You can’t wait for the next day when you can go buy whatever you want. It’s the one thing nobody can stop you from doing.

When the next day comes and the canteen line opens up, everybody rushes toward the line, but unless you’re already right there waiting for it to open, you’ll always end up at the end of the line. To get to the front of the line can take an hour or two, but it’s worth it.

Once you finally get what you want, your first instinct is to hide it like it’s a pile of gold. There are a lot of people who don’t get money and don’t care to take what you have. Where I’m at right now, it’s not too much of a problem, but new people come in all the time. As long as you have a lock [on your locker], you’re alright.

To put money into an inmate’s canteen account, visit www.JPay.com. You will need the inmate’s name and DC number. Ted’s number is #131948 (Theodore Braden). Ted does have a lock on his locker and keeps his books, letters and items from canteen in the locker.

I spoke with Ted on the phone today. He informed me that his upper back molar (with the big hole in it) will not be filled. It will be pulled (possibly on Tuesday). I can’t imagine having a tooth pulled and only getting Ibuprofen for the pain!