Worries

Even though I’m still finishing my prison sentence and I still belong to the Department of Corrections, now that I’m at work release I have new things to worry about: money, clothes and hygiene. Some of the things that really worry me are running into a group of old friends or drugs. It’s so easy in prison to stay clean because even though drugs are around, it’s not like on the street. So far I’ve been doing good, but a lot of people here have been sent back to prison for drug use, so I know it’s still around.

What worries me is – say I make it out of here in August, get out and move away. Then I’m going to have to start over somewhere else and I’ve never done that on my own before. I’ve been incarcerated during the years I should’ve been learning how to live on my own. It feels like I’m being kicked out of a cage into the chaotic world.

I know that if I really needed something, I could go to my parents, but I don’t want to have to do that for the rest of my life. For instance, when I get out, I have to pay these court costs off so I can get my license back, get a car and save up even more money so I can get an apartment. I don’t know how or where I’m going to get all this money. I know I have three months left, but that’s not a lot of time to save money, especially when they take 65% of everything I make.

Maybe when I get out I’ll work for a couple more months and save every penny I get. It just seems impossible to make it in the world sometimes.