A happy birthday

Well yesterday (June 13th) was my birthday and even though I literally laid down ALL day, it was still a good day. It was a very relaxed day. I wasn’t worried about anything, I didn’t talk to many people, and I finished a pretty good book. I just can’t believe it was actually a good day.

I always used to go out and do stuff for my birthday – like go to a movie or something, but this year I was actually happy lying in bed. The only time I got up was to go eat. I didn’t even watch any of the movies that they played that day.

So all I did was read my book and eat. What really surprised me was that my room was pretty quiet. That doesn’t happen often. I just wish I could find that happiness more like I did yesterday.

(It's so loud in my room right now, it's hard to concentrate.)

Mom and Dad also visited Ted on his birthday for an hour or so sitting in the 98° hot sun in the visitation area outside.

Turning 21

Every teenager dreams about the day when he or she turns 21. I wasn’t any different, but somehow all through my teenage years, I knew I would either be in jail or prison. I was always so sure about it that I didn’t even look forward to it. I can’t even explain how I knew it either – I just did.

Well in five days, I turn 21, but instead of being about to drink or even be with my family, I’m stuck here at work release. It’s not a surprise to me because of the life I was living, but it’s still depressing. I don’t even care that I can’t drink. I’ve never been a big drinker in the first place, but how many people have you heard say that they were a convicted felon before they turned 21?

Sometimes I feel life my life is over before it even started. Of course I know that’s not true, but there are people my age that it would be true for. I’ve met people in prison that haven’t seen the street in 30 – 40 years! That could have easily been me.

So this year, instead of celebrating my 21st birthday, I will celebrate my release from prison and a new start for a new life. Sober.  :-)